I’m cooking pot roast for dinner, so there’s a bag of onions on the table. I’ve been trying this unique storage method for onions and garlic–so far so good. I keep the onions and garlic in paper bags in a hanging wire basket in the basement; holes punched in the bags allow air to circulate.

So Little Brother wants to know why there’s a bag with holes in it on the table.

“It’s for the onions. They need to breathe.”

“Onions aren’t alive. Dead things don’t breathe.”

“Right. Well, the air needs to get around them so they don’t rot.”

“Does it work?”

“I think so.”

“Oh! They should put holes like that in coffins, then, so dead people wouldn’t rot.”

“They’d rot anyway.”

“Why?”

At this point I’ve had about all I can take of this strange conversation. “Because they’re not onions!”