I’ve been substitute teaching a lot recently, and sometimes the things the kids say are nothing short of priceless. Here are a few samples I managed to scribble down:
7th-grader, upon hearing that we’d be eating lunch in the classroom because the cafegymatorium was set up for a graduation reception: “Can we order some ribs?”
3rd-grader: “They came untied yesterday.”
3rd-grader: “This is my folder. It’s blue. It’s my new favorite color.”
Me: “Blue is a great color! What was your favorite color before?”
3rd-grader: “Well, I made something with my buddy…”
Actual 1st-grader-composed spelling sentence: “If you took my pencil, I would tell on you.”
Actual 7th-grade religion test answers:
- The religious vows: “chastity, obedience, patience”
- The religious vows: “poultry” (others left blank)
- The theological virtues: “Don’t lip, Don’t cheat, Don’t steal”
Things Teachers Say:
- “Tie your shoes.” (100 times a day, no matter what the grade)
- “You don’t close the window by pushing on the glass.”
- “Stop juggling scissors.”