Author: franciscanmom

Barb Szyszkiewicz is a wife, mom, Secular Franciscan and freelance writer and serves as Editor for CatholicMom.com. Mom to three young adults, she enjoys writing, cooking, and reading. Barb is a music minister at her parish. She is also an avid Notre Dame football and basketball fan. Barb blogs at FranciscanMom.com and shares her family’s favorite recipes with nutrition information for diabetics at www.Cook and Count.wordpress.com.

Adventures in Babysitting

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This morning I am watching Cutie Pie for a few hours while her mom attends a funeral and her dad’s at work.

Mary Poppins Not has a post just today about 3-year-old girls, and it fits Cutie Pie perfectly:

Three year old girls are a unique creation. It’s like they go from 2 to 12 over night. Strong willed, independent, argumentative, and bossy. But the big difference is at three, they are still oh so cute and chubby. And they are still small enough to be physically picked up and put in bed, or in the corner, or in a chair.

Three year old girls also change clothes a million times a day, and have very strong opinions about what they want to wear, what shoes go with the outfit, and what sort of clip ought to go in her hair.

Three year old girls hardly eat anything in one sitting. And they don’t like food they used to love. And they have a terrific pout.

…

Also in my experience, three year old girls with clear and enforced boundaries are sweet, cheerful and very energizing. When expectations for their behavior are clearly stated, they strive to please. When given a new task, they devour it with relish, and want more. They notice so many new things about their world, and they are very generous with sharing their insights. Bugs, birds and flowers are the new thrill around here, and it gets me excited all over again about the world I live in.

Cutie Pie has a lot to say, and she invariably has her audience chuckling the whole time. She’s as verbal as your average 5-year-old, giving a play-by-play of her day as she goes through it. She also insists that her sandals are much more comfortable when worn on the wrong feet. (Not worth the battle, I figured.)

Oh yeah, she’s humble too! She put on one of Little Brother’s hats earlier and was striking a pose. I played along. “Cutie Pie, you look FABULOUS in that hat!”

Posing again, and flirting a bit with her long eyelashes, she answered me, completely seriously: “Yes! I do!”

Missing: Tools of My Trade

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Consider this an APB for two things that I just can’t do without:
–my Swiss Army knife
–my Franciscan Crown Rosary

Passing on the Wisdom

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The following was posted in Father Jay Toborowsky’s blog, Young Fogeys.

Mother’s Day (taken from Judy Grubaugh)

I recently attended a bridal shower that would have fulfilled the dreams of any young woman. The home was beautiful and the conversation among friends who had watched the bride-to-be grow up was warm and welcoming. Then the hostess asked me to share a few words about marriage. As the room quieted, I shared with this young bride-to-be five things I wish I’d known before I walked down the aisle, hoping she’d learn them quicker than I did.

One: I wish I’d known my husband is human, just like me. From the time we’re little girls, we dream of the day when a knight in shining armor will whisk us away to a life of happiness ever after; but even a prince will have days when nothing goes right and he’s just plain weary. At times like these, you will be a wise wife if you rise to the occasion and encourage your husband. Ask God to give you a tongue that has words to sustain him.

Two: I wish I’d known the value of respecting my husband: In Ephesians 5:33 God’s Word says men need respect. Surveys affirm that the most important thing needed by men is the respect of their wives, even though radical feminists discredit the idea. You can show respect in a million ways, but most important is to remind him often that you believe in him. If you do, you will walk hand in hand even when you don’t see eye to eye.

Three: I wish I’d known to make God my refuge, not my husband. Your husband should be your confidant, but God alone is your refuge. Your husband was not created to understand all your emotional needs; trying to force him to do so will cause turmoil in your relationship. God wants to be your refuge. If you go to Him first with your needs and concerns, your marriage will be richer.

Four: I wish I’d known fulfillment in life comes from God, not from my husband. Expecting to find complete fulfillment from your husband is a mistake. God tells us ultimate fulfillment comes through knowledge of Him. The better you get to know God, the more fulfilled you will be. If we put Him first, He will give us everything else we need. And it is important to develop and cultivate friendships with other women – especially those who can help you grow in the faith, provide wisdom for your marriage, and act as God’s hands in your life. As God meets you through your friends, you have more to offer your marriage and family. The support of other women is invaluable.

Five: I wish I’d known that the best gift I could give my husband is to pray for him. Ask God to pour favor upon this man you love, and ask God to give him an undivided heart – a heart that hungers to know God. The more devoted your husband is to God, the more devotion he will show you. God wants you to excel as a wife. If you know and understand these five things, you will be a contented wife, and your husband will be a better man for having married you.

…
Thanks, Father Jay, for posting this wonderful essay. I have been married to TheDad for 16+ years and there is plenty of room for me to improve. I appreciate the inspiration that this essay provides.

Sometimes you just need a standing ovation

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Little Brother and Adventure Boy are rebuilding Little Brother’s block castle–the one that lasted 4 days on the family room floor before it met an ugly fate at the hands of Cutie Pie, Queen of Demolition.

They just placed the last accent block on the roof.

“Mom, look at my castle!”

I admired it. “It looks great! I’m glad you rebuilt it the way you like it.”

I guess that wasn’t enough. “Aren’t you going to clap?”

The Ducks Have Left the Neighborhood

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Every spring the ducks come to our neighborhood for a few weeks. We feed them when we see them, and we’ve known for a while that Mama Duck had again nested under our neighbor’s shrubbery.

This morning my neighbor told me that the babies had hatched and there were at least eight little ones! She expected, though, that Mama and the babies would be walking away from their nest soon.

She was right…when TheDad was making his lunch in the kitchen, he saw the duck family by our back fence. Mama wasn’t happy that I came outside for a last photo opportunity before she herded her ducklings through the fence on their way to the nearby creek. They’ve got to cross two streets to get there, and one of those is really busy. I hope they make it safely.

I counted 10 babies. If you click on the bottom picture to make it larger, you can see 9 right by Mama, and one on the other side of the fence in the top left of that photo if you look really hard!

Pipe Dreams

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Little Brother is sitting at the dining room table, waiting for TheDad to finish making toast so they can have breakfast. He’s keeping himself amused by singing random bits of songs he knows.

“…what do you think of that?” he sang just now.

I couldn’t think of what song he was singing, so I asked, “What do I think of what?”

“NOTHING!” he shouted in a very irritated voice. “Mom, I want some privacy!”

“You’re sitting at the dining room table singing, and you want privacy?! How much privacy do you think you’re going to get over there?”

“A LOT!”

Things I Never Thought I’d Have to Say

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“You may not do damage to anyone else’s eyebrows.”

An Actual Conversation

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Me: “Big Brother, the boys said earlier that there’s a dead bird under the big tree.”

Big Brother: “Cool.”

Me: “Get a shovel.”

Big Brother: “Not now. I just ate. I’ll do it later.”

I’ll be sure to remind him again, right after dinner.

Planner

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What you will find if you look in my planner for today’s date:
–Ascension Thursday (translation: GO TO CHURCH!)
–Middle Sister Field Day: donate 50 10-oz cups
–noon: Tutor at library (with 2 children in tow)
–house: laundry, change 2 beds, trash day
–dinner: Teriyaki Pork, rice, green beans

What you won’t find, but nevertheless has happened:
–nag Middle Sister about staying off her injured foot (the reason she is not at school on Field Day)
–instruct Little Brother and Adventure Boy on proper protocol for their Earthworm Relocation Program: “Do not dump your bucket of dirt and worms on the sidewalk! Someone will step in it and kill the worms. You can dump that into the garden, over here. Now get some shovels and clean all that up and put it in the garden.”
–take a phone call from your student’s father after your student skipped his second tutoring appointment this week. Tell said student’s father that the student only has a D in class right now, and that he has to put in some serious study time if he intends to pass his final exam and graduate high school. Reschedule for Saturday morning.
–email student’s guidance counselor to ask about proper protocol for students who repeatedly skip tutoring sessions

The Village People

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No, not those Village People. I’m talking about the ones who wind up raising a child whose family cannot, or will not, raise him, even though he lives in their home. I’m talking about the families on my block who are that Village for Adventure Boy.

Lately I have read two books about a little girl who, like Adventure Boy, was pretty much on her own from the time she could walk (A Girl Named Zippy and She Got Up Off the Couch, both by Haven Kimmel). If it were not for her neighbors she wouldn’t have had many regular meals, baths, or clean clothing. I don’t believe that Adventure Boy’s situation is that extreme; his lack appears to be in the area of attention and supervision. Yet I could certainly see from her writing that she needed (and ultimately appreciated) the care and attention she got from her neighbors.

But what about the neighbors? What you don’t see in those books is the attitude of the grownups who had to take the place of this child’s parents. You don’t hear them whispering about the role they were playing in this child’s life. You don’t know if they resented having to take care of another child. You don’t know if they sighed when that child appeared at their home before 8 AM, planning to stay the day. Did they react like I did the other day when Adventure Boy helped himself to a yogurt from my back-porch refrigerator and left the door wide-open on a summerlike afternoon, until I found it two hours later? Did they react like my neighbor did when she found Adventure Boy had let himself into her house without knocking, so he could play with Cutie Pie and Little Brother? Did they agonize over what will happen in a few weeks when the pool opens up, because there is no way they want to be responsible for an extra-adventurous five-year-old at a swimming pool? Did they breathe a quick prayer to that little one’s guardian angel every time he sailed across the street on his bike without looking for cars?

My head wants to say that I am not my brother’s keeper. Then my heart reminds me where that sentence led.

So where’s the boundary line? Where do I draw it? What would the Village People do?

I don’t know how to figure it out, but until I do, I’ll be doling out those toaster waffles and cups of apple juice–because what else can I do for this child who’s been bringing his favorite blanket here these past couple of days?