Category: Family

No Tacky Bridezillas Here

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Last night when I was getting ready to go to sleep, I brushed my teeth and reached for my “days of the week” container to get my asthma medication. I almost opened the box marked “SUNDAY.”

Then I realized that this was because of how I spent the day. TheDad and I attended the wedding of one of his younger cousins. The ceremony was beautiful, with carefully-chosen readings and wonderful, reverent music. And the reception, full of family and friends who all noticed how very happy the newly-married couple, along with their parents, were on this very happy day.

I felt like it was Sunday, because I had been to church. This was no “well, we want a church wedding, but we don’t really want it to feel like church” kind of wedding. There was no grand-entrance dance down the aisle, like the Youtube video that’s been going around. There was a lot of prayer. Make no mistake about it, a sacrament took place yesterday.

Thank you, Mary and Christopher, for your witness at your wedding yesterday. May God richly bless you both.

Rest in Peace, Pop

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My father-in-law passed away just before 2 this morning. The damage to his heart was just too much to be repaired.

Pop was the first to rejoice over happy news and to offer help when bad news came. He never refused an opportunity to help someone else, and he never passed up an opportunity to make a friend. His morning “coffee, newspaper and Home Depot” routine included a stop at the waterfront to pray the Rosary. Pop carried papers around in his pockets–jokes he’d read in his email that he wanted to share with his kids and grandkids. He made sure we all stayed well-stocked with our favorite bagels, and enjoyed experimenting with new recipes when he had visitors. He loved his family, especially his grandchildren, and he made sure you knew it.

“Well done, good and faithful servant.” (Matt. 25:21)

Why Moms Don’t Want to Always Know Best

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Read Sheila Wray Gregoire’s column for this week! I think she’s been peeking in my windows. Thanks, Sheila, for saying what I couldn’t find the words to express.

I try not to bug my husband with the Little Stuff, because he really does deal with most of the Big Stuff. But a lot of the Little Stuff sure does come with Big Guilt. I really appreciate what Sheila has to say on this subject.

I Think I Need to Give This Cookbook Away

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Father Leo Patalinghug’s book Grace Before Meals is much more than a cookbook. Yes, there are recipes–interesting ones! But more important than that, there is encouragement. And that’s why I’ll probably be giving away my copy.

Last night we had dinner guests: a mom and her little boy. Her husband works second shift, and I lost count of how many times she told me how nice it was to enjoy a family dinner. We had spaghetti, nothing fancy, but she said that she doesn’t do a whole lot of cooking when it’s just her and her son.

I want to find a way to tell her that she needs to make a point of having a family mealtime even if the whole family can’t be there. No matter how simple the meal–whether it’s a bowl of Cheerios or (shudder) Spaghetti-Os or a gourmet treat, where two or more are gathered for a meal, it’s a family meal. You’re all together at the table. Ideally, the TV is off. You give thanks for the food and the time to be together, and you enjoy your food.

I will say that everyone behaved themselves for company. Middle Sister refrained from regaling us with some disgusting tale in the middle of the meal. (She has a knack for making everyone else lose their appetites.) Little Brother showed our guest how to use the rotary cheese grater. That was fun for the boys, who delighted in making mountains of Romano.

But I want to encourage our dinner guest to have family mealtime. Her son is little now, and she’s with him a lot, so it might not seem so important to her. But she does notice something missing–for her. And as her little boy grows up, she will want him to know what family dinnertime is all about. She will want him to be nourished, not just by the food, but by the shared prayer, conversation, and love at the table. She will want him to have what she is missing now.

I hope Father Leo’s cookbook will help her get there, and that it’s not rude of me to offer it.

All I Got was a Bellyache

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Tonight we did something that our family almost never does. We got drive-through supper at Chick-Fil-A (there was a fund-raiser for Big Brother’s Habitat trip to Mississippi) and ate it while we drove Big Brother to a camping trip for another school activity, then took Middle Sister to a sleepover at her “BFF’s” house.

Big Brother juggled his dinner and the map while I held my sandwich with one hand, trying not to lose the pickles as I drove.

Normally our dinner conversation includes a little instruction in table manners and utensil use, but we had no tables and no utensils. So instead Big Brother and I fought the Radio Wars and argued over whether we wanted to listen to “Smoke on the Water” or a Dire Straits tune (that was a tough choice, believe me!)

I know it was a fund-raiser, so I can live with the $23 dinner for 4 (oh, the amazing meal I could make at home on that budget). But I do enjoy seeing the faces of the people with whom I’m sharing a meal–without having to use a rear-view mirror. And I’m convinced that driving makes me eat faster, so now I’ve got a bellyache.

I’m glad we don’t have meals like that too often. Our next dinner together will be eaten at the table. I didn’t realize how much I take that for granted.

Out Into the World

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Today both my Big Kids are heading out into the world. Without me. Without TheDad.

Middle Sister is on her way to a fun-filled, four-day vacation to Hershey Park, including a Jonas Brothers concert, with her aunt and uncle and the All-Girl Cousins. It’s great of them to bring her along, and I know they will all have a wonderful time. We’re going to miss her, though. I’m sad already and she hasn’t even left yet.

Big Brother just headed over to school with an overpacked lunch box in his hand and his work boots on. He’ll be spending the day with Habitat for Humanity, building in Philadelphia. He’s hoping to join a group from school on a trip to Mississippi this fall; they will spend a week rebuilding in a town hit by Hurricane Katrina. Who knew that helping with Stage Crew, building fake houses, would lead to helping build real houses for people in need? (Kudos to his school for encouraging the students to get involved in this great cause!)

They are spreading their wings…may God and the angels and the saints protect them. May they soar.

A Call for Family Volunteers

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Patjrsmom at Building the Ark is working on an article about families who volunteer together. She’s looking for some good ideas on projects the whole family can do.

And she’s hosting a contest–the best project (voted by site visitors) wins a Pampered Chef bar-cookie pan.

So if your family has participated in a volunteer effort together, why not describe it over at Building the Ark? You might win a prize–but at the very least, you’ll get some other good ideas for ways your family can work together to help others.

And stick around her site–her articles are well worth it.

How We Pass The Time

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on a lazy summer afternoon.

I sit here at my computer with an electric guitar and a hymnal in my lap, writing electric-guitar parts to “Glory and Praise To Our God” in tablature so Big Brother can learn it for Sunday Mass. Last night we received the music list for the entire summer, standardized so that every Mass at the parish has the same music. “Glory and Praise” will be repeated throughout the summer, and I knew a cool coda part for it, so Big Brother was eager to learn it.

Middle Sister brings out her guitar and decorates her strap.

Little Brother takes out his toy guitar and strums away.

Big Brother explores my guitar and comments on how an acoustic-electric 12-string is different from an electric 6-string.

We could go swimming. But this is pretty cool too.

I Don’t Consider This a "Feature"

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I have a standing Friday lunch date with the Wall Street Journal’s Weekend Journal section. I read articles about cars I’d never drive, wine (I don’t drink), and various consumer goods not in my household budget. And then, while I nibble my grilled-cheese-and-tomato sandwich, I inspect the million-dollar-plus real-estate listings. I drool over ocean views, floor-to-ceiling windows and expansive front porches. I wonder what surprises these homes, depicted in black-and-white thumbnail photos and a sentence or two in Realtorese, have to offer.

And sometimes I shake my head and thank my lucky stars that I don’t live in these homes. One of today’s offerings “can accommodate privacy of teenagers.” I don’t think so! Teenagers can get in enough trouble without living in houses that accommodate their privacy. Around here, privacy is limited to “shut the door when you are sleeping, dressing, showering, or using the bathroom.” Otherwise, all bets are off–and I like it that way. If my kids want more privacy, they can grow up, get jobs, and get their own homes. This is already more privacy than either TheDad or I get, and I’d venture to say that most parents would say the same.

So I guess I’ll save that million dollars I don’t have anyway, and cross that dream house off my list.

Happy Father’s Day!

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It’s Father’s Day!

We had our special dinner yesterday with my in-laws here, but we are planning to have TheDad grill some ribs later. We gave him his present, and the children are charged with letting TheDad get as much couch time as he wants.

Today at Mass our deacon (a dad and grandfather himself) preached on “The harvest is plenty and laborers are few.” After inviting parishioners to consider participating in various parish ministries that will need some extra hands this year, he honored the fathers in the assembly by describing how they assist in God’s harvest and concluded with a prayer for fathers.

Here is President Bush’s Father’s Day proclamation:

“Fathers play a unique and important role in the lives of their children. As mentor, protector, and provider, a father fundamentally influences the shape and direction of his child’s character by giving love, care, discipline, and guidance. As we observe Father’s Day, our nation honors fatherhood and urges fathers to commit themselves selflessly to the success and well-being of their children. And we reaffirm the importance of fathers in the lives of their children. Raising a child requires significant time, effort, and sacrifice; and it is one of the most hopeful and fulfilling experiences a man can ever know. A father can derive great joy from seeing his child grow from infancy to adulthood. As a child matures into independence and self reliance, the value of a parent’s hard work, love, and commitment comes to fruition.

Responsible fatherhood is important to a healthy and civil society. Numerous studies confirm that children whose fathers are present and involved in their lives are more likely to develop into prosperous and healthy adults. Children learn by example; and they need their father’s presence as examples of virtue in their daily lives. A child’s sense of security can be greatly enhanced by seeing his parents in a loving and faithful marriage.”

A big thank you to my husband, father, and father-in-law for being the great dads and grandpas that they are! God bless you all!