Saying Goodbye, in Pictures and a Recipe

My great-aunt Anna has made an agreement with a buyer and will likely sell her house before the end of the summer. She’s lived alone in this house for almost four years now, and has recovered from a stroke and knee surgery in the past two years. She’s moving to an apartment in a retirement community and won’t have to worry about maintenance and safety. I pray that she’ll have many happy, healthy years there.

The places where you spend your childhood stay with you for a long time. This is the last house that I associate with the days when I was under 10; both my grandmothers have passed away and their homes have been sold, and my parents moved out of our childhood home four years ago. They are just houses, but they hold many memories for me.

I spent a large, happy chunk of my childhood in this house. When we were kids, every Saturday morning we’d come here after my sister’s allergy shot. We’d visit with Grandpa (our great-grandfather), our great-uncle James, and our great-aunts Rose and Anna. Rose would be finishing up the vacuuming when we got there. Anna would make pancakes if it was early, or tuna-fish sandwiches if it was closer to lunchtime. We’d hang out in the family room playing “Trouble” and watching “Scooby Doo,” “Josie and the Pussycats,” and “The Jetsons.” Grandpa would tell us stories and teach us to sing “Goodbye My Coney Island Baby” and the refrain to “Marching through Georgia.” He’s the reason I still love to hear barbershop quartets.

On nice days, we’d play in the backyard under the big pine trees. Every summer there would be a big family picnic back here. The volleyball net would stretch from the edge of the trees to the patio. Picnic tables were under the trees, in the shade.

We figured out that you could write your name, or messages, in the pile on the living room carpet. Rose never liked when we did that, but we did it anyway. Sometimes we’d vault over the back of the sofa into the dining room. We’d look at the big picture of an autumn scene that always hung over the back of the couch. There was a little organ tucked near the stairs and we’d pick out some tunes on it. I always liked practicing my beginner’s piano lesson on that organ.

In this kitchen, there was always something cold for kids to drink, in an Archie glass. No plastic cups in this house–we used glasses and never broke one. (If Anna ever decides to give away those glasses, you can bet there will be at least five nieces and nephews fighting over them). In this kitchen, we learned to sing “Zippity-Doo-Dah” and other happy songs. In this kitchen, Anna made her famous vegetable soup and fabulous Thanksgiving dinners. Only real butter was served, and it was always soft because it was never put in the refrigerator. I think they went through a stick of butter in less than a day, so it didn’t have time to go bad!

Here’s the recipe for Harrington Tuna, otherwise known as Nostalgia on a Plate:
1 can solid white tuna
Miracle whip
Soft butter
Wonder bread

Mix tuna with miracle whip. Spread softened butter generously on two slices of bread. Add tuna and cut on the diagonal.

After lunch you can have two Hydrox cookies for dessert. Don’t fight with your brother and sister over who gets the Jughead glass. There are enough Archie glasses to go around.

Good times.

Halfway to Whole Again

Boy, it’s been quiet around here.

Not only are Big Brother and TheDad in beautiful, scenic Roanoke, Virginia enjoying all the fun Boy Scout Camp (by day) and Dungeons & Dragons (by night) have to offer…

But Middle Sister has spent the past day and a half with her friend’s family, at the beach.

She just called to tell me they’re getting ready to leave and that she is coming home with a “complimentary sunburn.”

Since 1:00 yesterday it’s been me and Little Brother. He’s had his chance to be an Only Child for a day. And while he misses everyone, I do think he has enjoyed his chance to monopolize my attention. We invested in a new board game (Scrabble Junior–I can’t believe we never had this game with either of the Big Kids!) and we’ve enjoyed playing together. We’ve gone to his swim lessons and to the pool in the afternoon. I’ve gotten a few “house projects” done, as I always do when TheDad is gone. (It’s like a sickness. I have to move furniture every time he goes away on a trip. He’s very amused by this and has come to expect it by now).

Tonight I asked him to pick up the Army Guys that were littering the family room floor. He told me he had them all “set up” and didn’t want to take them down. So I offered to put away the “too-old-for-lead-paint-recalls” Thomas trains and let him set up on the train table, so he could have his ongoing battle. He was very worried that I would be upset about taking down a train track I had designed and built before Michelle visited, but I told him I could make a new track whenever he wanted.

“You’re my buddy, Mom!” came with a big hug at that point.

Tomorrow morning the week is half over. When Little Brother wakes up he will find that his sister is home, sunburn and all. And we’ll erase the “4” on the white board and write a big number “3”–for the days we have to wait until our family is all together again, at home. It can’t come soon enough for me.

Father’s Day Cards

Boy, it’s hard to find a nice Father’s Day card that’s not overly mushy (not my style OR my dad’s) and not full of fart jokes. Amy Caroline has a good post on the subject here. Check it out, and follow the links she has–definitely worth it.

Dads deserve better than most of the cards that are out there, that imply that all dads are smelly, incompetent, lazy, drunk, and stupid–but that we love them anyway.

But I finally found one that was kind of funny, but still honored my dad for all he has done. It has a cartoon guy in a tie on the front, in various strange positions. Inside:
“For all the times you’ve stood on your head, bent over backwards and gone the extra mile for me, thank you, Dad! Happy Father’s Day!” I like it. Hope my dad does, too.

Do You Hear What I Hear?

It’s that “open the windows wide” time of year in my part of the country. And when the windows are open you hear everything that you’ve been insulated from all winter long: the traffic on the main road a couple of blocks away, the freight train 2 miles to the west, music from the passing cars with their windows open, plenty of birdsong, and the neighbors’ loud party after midnight on a Friday night.

Another neighbor and I were commiserating over that party, since we were both woken up by it, and she observed that the people having the party probably didn’t realize just how loud they were, and that sound carries so well in the middle of the night with no competing noise, so that we all could hear exactly what was being said by everyone at the party.

She mentioned that it was a reminder to her that she needs to watch how she speaks when she’s outside, or even in her own home with the windows open, in case someone hears. And I know the feeling. I am much more likely to speak to a family member through clenched teeth in my own home than I am in a public place like a supermarket.

That’s certainly not something I should be proud of, however. An answer through clenched teeth is never going to be remembered for its gentleness.

But I don’t want the motivation for changing my ways to just be a need for company manners: “someone might hear.” What really struck me as I was thinking about this is that Someone will hear. God hears. In 1 Samuel, we read: “for man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart” (1 Sam. 16:7) And in Matthew 6:4 Jesus mentions that the Father sees what we do in secret.

The Morning Offering is a good way to start the day. If you have little children they can learn this simple one:

Good morning, dear Jesus, this day is for you.
I offer you all that I think, say, and do. Amen.

“All that I think, say, and do…” If I’m offering all that to God, I’d better do things with a kinder spirit.

Wake Me Up When May Is Over

TheDad read the article that estimates the stay-at-home mom’s salary for this year. He very nicely offered to take me out to dinner sometime, since there’s not a spare $138,000 in the family budget for my paycheck.

That’ll be great, and I’ll look forward to it. But I know very well that it won’t be happening anytime soon.

It’s a rare day in May that we don’t have at least one thing on the calendar already. Some days are double- or even triple-booked. Between TheDad and Big Brother’s Boy Scout meetings, Big Brother’s track meets, Middle Sister’s softball and volleyball games, my 2-hour-per-week tutoring job, Big Brother’s trips to a local air show, whitewater rafting and Hershey Park (all through school), Middle Sister’s Field Day (on a holyday of obligation), and my Secular Franciscan gatherings, we’re hardly all home at the same time. This stay-at-home mom isn’t home much.

I know that I shouldn’t complain. I have three healthy (and reasonably happy) children. Two of them are involved in healthy activities like sports, visiting a local nursing home, Flight Club, Alternate Activities Club (to keep thrill-seekers from using drugs, tobacco or alcohol). I have a (very) part-time tutoring job that I enjoy. If my husband isn’t home, it’s because he’s either at work or taking one of more of the kids to a sports event. I know that I shouldn’t wish this time away, because the kids are growing up amazingly quickly.

Lord, I feel overwhelmed by my family’s activities. Help me to realize that this is a normal part of my children’s growing-up years. Help me to give them the guidance to choose their activities well. Help me to create a balance between family life, sports and school. And help me to savor the moments spent on cold metal bleachers, watching Big Brother run around a track, cheering for Middle Sister as she catches a fly ball, and showing Little Brother what he can do when he’s as big as they are. Help me to remember that it’s all worthwhile, and to work out a home routine that will get us through the coming busy weeks.

And now I must get Little Brother back into the car as we head to Middle Sister’s school for “Special Person’s Day.”

First Holy Communion for Our Godchild

I have been a godmother three times, but only once have my husband and I had the privilege to be godparents to the same child. She is not a relative, but the child of friends–and because they live locally and she attends Middle Sister’s school, we get to see her and her family fairly often.

Tomorrow morning our godchild will receive her First Holy Communion. What a special day for her and her family! Please keep her and her classmates in your prayers tomorrow, that Jesus will be with them in a special way on their First Communion Day and always.

Mundane is Good

It’s only Thursday, and this week we’ve already been treated to several stories of celebrity family life gone bad….
Astronaut
Anna Nicole Smith
Andy Reid’s Kids

Fame does strange things to people. The (linked above) story about the astronaut has interesting insights of the pressures that astronauts and their families face. I imagine that the same is true for media celebrities’ families, and sports figures as well.

So today, I thank God for my run-of-the-mill suburban life, for my husband who is sweet and smart and has a good job, for my children who (so far) haven’t done anything tabloid-worthy.

I heard a new song on the radio yesterday that really sums up how I feel:
“Isn’t That Everything” by Danielle Peck

I might not have a million dollars in the bank
But I’ve got food on my table and gas in my tank
I might not have designer sheets on a king size bed
But I lay down at night with a roof over my head

Yeah, I’ve got friends that love me
A big blue sky above me
And your two arms around me baby every night

Isn’t that everything
I don’t need anything
It’s only the simple things I believe
That matter most in life
I’m more than satisfied
All that I have is all I need
Isn’t that everything

Now I’m not saying I don’t dream from time to time
Every girl I know likes the way a diamond shines
But when the party’s over and the glitter starts to fade
It’s all about your piece of mind at the end every day

I know Jesus loves me
Up in that sky above me
I see that morning sun again and feel alive

Isn’t that everything
I don’t need anything
It’s only the simple things I believe
That matter most in life
I’m more than satisfied
All that I have is all I need
Isn’t that everything

Yeah, I’ve got friends that love me
A big blue sky above me
And your two arms around me baby every night
I know Jesus loves me
Up in that sky above me
I see that morning sun again and feel alive

Isn’t that everything
I don’t need anything
It’s only the simple things I believe
That matter most in life
I’m more than satisfied
All that I have is all I need
Isn’t that everything

Isn’t that everything
Isn’t that everything

Sigh….Big Brother is standing here listening to the song and commented, “I think it’s funny that these people sing about only needing the simple things in life and they’re making a ton of money from it.” (That, my son, is a good example of IRONY.)

Changing the Way I Think

I’ve been trying this lately, and it really works!

It’s easy to get bogged down in the little irritations that a day in the family home can bring. And any mom knows that a good part of a mom’s day is spent bending over to pick up somebody else’s stuff that was left where it doesn’t belong.

If the stuff belongs to one of the kids, I usually gather it up into a basket or something and have them deal with it all when they’re home from school.

If it’s my husband’s, I deal with it myself.

But no matter whose it is, I spent way too much energy being irritated by the stuff.

Then I started imagining myself saying “I love you” to the person who belongs to the stuff as I pick it up. It’s a great way to bring a smile to my heart, and I stay in a much better mood.

After all, this really is why I do what I do: because I love them!

Distraction

Just when you think you have a foolproof plan for Evening Prayer, someone throws you a curveball.

Everybody was busy. TheDad and Little Brother were playing a video game. Middle Sister was at the computer. Big Brother was studying for his history midterm.

I took out my MP3, cued up my favorite Brandenburg Concerto, and opened my book for prayers, in the living room, where no one else was sitting.

Big Brother decided that it would be a good time to put Little Brother’s radio-control monster truck through its paces. Since everyone else was in the family room, he needed floor space–so he headed for the living room.

I did my best to ignore the black pickup as it nudged Middle Sister’s abandoned lunchbox toward a corner and then unsuccessfully attempted to park under a child-size rocker. The music didn’t block out the noise entirely, and only the fact that I’ve got the “Magnificat” memorized, so I could close my eyes, saved me from losing it completely. Fortunately I finished everything before Big Brother began parallel-parking the truck between the rockers of the large rocking chair.

When it comes to distractions, my kids’ creativity knows no bounds. So I guess I am left to thank God that I have children, and that they have imaginations–and know how to use them. They may be distracting sometimes, but they’re always a blessing.

Happy New Year!!

It’s so late…or is it so early…and I’m still up!

We went to a friend’s house where they had a small party (2 other families besides us and them). There was plenty of food and laughing, especially when the game “Balderdash” was started up. I’ve never played that one before, and it’s lots of fun! After watching the ball drop, we headed outside to watch some fireworks.

Little Brother made it until after 12:30 when he finally curled up in my lap and conked out. He fought sleep for a few hours, like a champ, and was in a remarkably good mood despite how visibly tired he was. I wonder how late he’ll sleep this morning….even the Big Kids went right to bed as soon as we got home.

Did anyone else notice that Dick Clark now sounds more like Yakov Smirnoff? I have to give the man a lot of credit for his post-stroke comeback. But the rest of the show? I could have done without it all.

At any rate, it was a nice, low-key night with good people and good conversation. Little Brother was the youngest child by 6 years but he held his own; the Big Kids enjoyed the games and the sparklers; a good time was had by everyone.

May God grant you and your family good health, much happiness and many blessings in this New Year, and may he bring peace to the world. (I know, that last one is a lot to wish for, but if you don’t ask, you don’t get!)