Small Success: Double Time

Thursdays at CatholicMom.com begin with a look at the past week’s Small Successes!

Yesterday I was messaging with a coworker on Slack, and I said this:

Yeah, I have an article to write, deadline ASAP, so I’m cleaning the freezer…

That’s pretty much how things are going around here.

My freezer is very clean after yesterday’s defrosting binge. And I don’t have to buy any more meat for the next 2 months, except for what I’ll need for TheKid’s graduation party next Saturday.

(I’m cooking! Want to come over and help us eat all the food?)

That defrosting binge was definitely stress organizing. I’m doubling up on work this month; in addition to my regular job at CatholicMom.com, I’m doing editorial support for Today’s Catholic Teacher during the month of June.

THAT was a total fluke. I answered a call for articles on Twitter and wound up building a spreadsheet of articles, authors and word counts. I’m writing an article too, but there’s not really a learning curve as far as that goes.

So as I juggle my regular part-time job and learn a new (temporary) one, I found something I could totally control–my freezer. It’s full, but it’s organized and I have a LIST of what’s in it.

As for the rest of it, I’ll muddle through. I’m learning a lot, and working with some amazing (and patient) people. Once I finally find my groove, though, the job will end. That’s the nature of temp work. I should be used to it, after all the substitute-teaching I’ve done.

But in the back of my head, I’ve got one more list: things I can spend an hour organizing when I need to clear my head and take complete control of something.

I hope nothing happened on Twitter yesterday. There was no time to tweet (and that’s not simply a leisure activity for me. It’s networking.) I was doing work for 2 jobs, outlining an article, making a batch of cold-brew coffee, washing 5 loads of laundry, defrosting and organizing the freezer, making chicken stock and then dinner, attending folk group practice that ran late, then freezing 21 cups of chicken stock and doing all the dinner dishes that the people who ate dinner late left for me. (We’re going to have to have a talk about THAT.)

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Trust, Insecurity and Double-Checking

My child’s life depends on double-checking.

He has a continuous glucose monitor that constantly checks his blood sugar–but at least twice a day he has to do a finger stick to double-check that the monitor is correct.

dexcom g4When he leaves the house, we’re always asking him if he has his supplies (and the receiver to his monitor, which he removes from his pocket when he comes in the door. His routine:  take off shoes, take monitor out of pocket.)

I’m OK with that, because he’s a kid.

But when someone double-checks ME, it never fails. I get all bent out of shape, and I react in a manner that’s WAY out of proportion with the situation.

Just this morning:  I woke Little Brother up in time for him to get ready to go to theater camp. I asked what he wanted for breakfast and we figured out the carbs. As I scrambled eggs, he gave himself a shot. I wrote down his blood sugar, carbs and dose of insulin and went back to the stove to finish the eggs. Hubs walked in and asked Little Brother if he’d had a shot yet.

“I’m RIGHT HERE with him,” I yelled.

It’s not Hubs’ fault for double-checking. This is MY problem. Double-checking is important, but when someone double-checks me, I get all sorts of offended and upset. I feel like they don’t think I’m good enough to manage the task on my own. I feel like I’m not being trusted to do it.

There is no room for insecurity like that when it comes to dealing with diabetes. Hubs and I need to work as a team–and we need to be able to double-check each other and communicate well.

I could have just answered, “Done.” I could have said, “I wrote it down.” I could have just given a thumbs-up and turned back to the stove.

What am I so afraid of, anyway?