Unless it involves the grill, I’m the cook in the family.
Unless it involves Costco, I’m the grocery shopper.
This means that normally the meal planning is left to me. Except on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday.
On those two days, my husband has always requested that I serve the dinner his mom always served on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday: grilled cheese sandwiches and canned soup.
I’ve got nothing against grilled cheese. If I can find a good tomato (good luck finding a good tomato at this time of year), so much the better. And just the other day I had a little bit of caramelized onions left over from the previous night’s burgers, and I added those into a grilled Swiss on pumpernickel with Koszkiusko mustard … heavenly.
But we’re talking Campbell’s tomato soup (made with milk, in my husband’s ideal world) or Chunky New England clam chowder. Those are the only soup options allowed. Usually I skip the soup and just have a sandwich for dinner.
The Penitential Meal During Lent
If you want to make a meal penitential for me, lock me into a recipe routine. For me, all the fun is in the variety. I’ve been sharing meatless recipes on CatholicMom.com for 12 years now, at least eight times a year … that’s a lot of recipes. Trying new recipes or finding new spins on old favorites makes cooking fun for me, in a way that flipping grilled cheeses and heating up canned soup is … not.
My family, however, thinks this is the Best Dinner Ever.
One Lent, I decided my penance would be serving up soup and grilled cheese every single Friday. I was the Hero of Lent in my house. Everyone looked forward to Friday dinner.
That was humbling. I’m spending an hour in the kitchen every other day of the week and all they want is canned soup and a sandwich?
That Lent was super penitential for me, and I would have done well to pray the Litany of Humility every Friday before getting the griddle out.
What’s for Dinner this Ash Wednesday?
Last night at dinner, the subject of Ash Wednesday came up, and the dinner expectations were made clear.
“Ash Wednesday is next week?! Best dinner! Let’s gooooooooooooooo!”
What’s for dinner this Ash Wednesday? Grilled cheese and canned soup all around, and a slice of humble pie for the cook.
Copyright 2025 Barb Szyszkiewicz
Photo copyright 2025 Barb Szyszkiewicz, all rights reserved.
We’re almost at the end of Holy Week. Today is a Friday that feels like a Sunday (because I’ve been to church) and then tomorrow will feel like a weird day all day long, and then I’ll go to Easter Vigil Mass and wind up feeling like I’m supposed to be somewhere on Sunday, even though I have nowhere to go.
But I’ve learned a few things, this Holy Week. The pared-down version of the Holy Week Masses and services has meant that we carry less; we sing less; we pay attention more; we notice more. Most of the time, the pared-down version has been a good thing.
On Palm Sunday the blessed palms were available at the end of Mass as we left the church. There were no palms to hold during the entrance procession, but since we were using the simple entrance without the Gospel reading about the triumphant entry into Jerusalem, we didn’t need palms. This meant that we didn’t have palms to fiddle with, drop, or braid into crosses.
We also didn’t have hymnals (which, in our parish, contain the missal). Those are all locked away in the parish library, except a few in the choir area for the musician and cantor to use. On Palm Sunday when the Passion was read, no one had the readings available to proclaim the crowd parts. The lector read those along with the “any speaker except Jesus” parts. And that turned out to feel really odd. When the Passion is proclaimed at Mass and the assembly participates in a way that’s only done two days per year, saying the words “Crucify Him!” really brings home the message of our own participation in the burden of sin that Jesus died to take away.
It turned out to be a gift that I didn’t sing this year on Holy Thursday. We musicians have to pay attention in a focused sort of way, because we’re listening for cues (and sometimes on the special days the cues are very different from ordinary Sunday cues). But I was sitting with the assembly and I had the chance to just listen and not worry about being ready to start the next acclamation on time, because the musicians would cue me. And in all my years of attending the Holy Thursday Mass of the Lord’s Supper, I never noticed this:
On the day before he was to suffer for our salvation and the salvation of all, that is today,
That sacrifice was happening right then and right there. Not only in Jerusalem 2000 years ago. Right here in New Jersey on Holy Thursday night in 2021. I’m not expressing this well. I don’t know how to express this well. But I think it means that the sacrifice was made once by Jesus but we are reliving it, and now I will need to go read the Catechism of the Catholic Church (1365-1369) and ponder that.
This Holy Thursday, the ritual of the washing of the feet was omitted. Of course, we heard about it in the Gospel, but the actual washing of feet did not happen. For me, that was a good thing because if I’m a musician I’m busy the whole time and if I’m not a musician I’m distracted by either the music (for good or for ill) or by my own thoughts about how I’d never want my feet washed because who would want to look at my awful feet?
In a way, it’s hard to strip much from Good Friday, because it’s already as stripped down as a liturgy can get. By this point in Holy Week I think the simplicity of it all had finally settled in for me. I didn’t spend the silent entrance procession sulking about the missed opportunity for a hymn. I was ready for the silence, and my soul was happy for it.
It seemed like a lot of people thought the same as I did about Palm Sunday, because when the Gospel was proclaimed for Good Friday, out came the smartphones and the missals and Magnificats that people had brought in with them. It wasn’t everybody, but it was enough that when the crowd had something to say, we could hear a good number of voices saying it.
Finally, on Good Friday this year we did not have individual veneration of the cross. Our deacon-in-training carried the cross from the back of church to the altar, proclaiming three times, “Behold the wood of the cross, on which hung the salvation of the world. Come, let us adore.” Then our pastor asked everyone to stand and silently adore from our places. Again, this is a situation where I’m usually busy providing music while everyone in church stands up, lines up, venerates the cross, and returns to seats. It takes longer than Communion and it’s important to end the music the second the last person has been seated, so it’s a little stressful. And the musicians never get to venerate the cross. This time, we all just stood in our places. You could hear a pin drop in that church. It was powerful.
Holy Week 2021 has turned out to be very different from Holy Week 2019, our last normal Holy Week. It’s also turned out to be a million times better than Holy Week 2020.
Tomorrow night is the Easter Vigil, and we will make a joyful noise, in praise of the Resurrection and our return to Mass and seeing Mass attendance numbers creep up, little by little each week. We won’t have an Easter Fire, and that’s sad. But after Palm Sunday, Holy Thursday, and Good Friday, I know that, whatever’s missing, there will be a lesson for me in it.
Copyright 2021 Barb Szyszkiewicz. All rights reserved.
