Doubting Mommy

Of my three, the child I worry about most is Middle Sister. She’s 10-wishing-she-were-16, and we are Just So Different that I always feel like I am saying the wrong thing. As with any family, what works with one child doesn’t necessarily work with the others, and I don’t think I’ve found the right thing that works with her.

And the big thing here is, she’s a girl. She’s way more girly than I will ever know how to be. She wants nail polish and makeup and bikini bathing suits. She wants me to do her hair. And unfortunately I failed “Hair and Makeup” early in life. I think when God was giving out the fashion gene, I forgot to get in line, or something. But I worry about her. I worry about teaching her that it’s important to be modest, now that she’s growing up. (AAACK! She’s growing up!) I think that if I do this the wrong way, she’ll just think I’m trying to turn her into a fashion dork like I am.

She’s a good kid. She loves to try new things. She’s very athletic and sociable. She likes art and music but doesn’t much like reading. She wants to help me cook and clean the house. She’s funny, good company, and very helpful.

I want to make sure that my only girl doesn’t feel left out because she’s the only girl. I want to give her the skills and faith and everything she needs as she grows into a teenager (AAACK! She’ll be a teenager soon!) and I want her to know that even though we don’t agree on what clothes are appropriate for a girl of 10, and that even though I probably look like I belong on an episode of “What Not To Wear” (which she loves to watch), and even though I’m not good at doing hair, I love her and I’m proud of her. I want her to grow up healthy and happy and full of faith.

I’m just not sure I have the right tools for the job.

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