Opposites might attract when it comes to spouses, according to an article in today’s Wall Street Journal, but I don’t think it works that way in mother-daughter relationships.

Right now I’m responding in a completely irrational manner to my daughter’s announcements that, 1, she’s going vegetarian for Lent, and, 2, that she doesn’t want what I was going to make for dinner tonight either. Completely irrational. Because I’m feeling rejected by this. She doesn’t get that. Not only does she not get it, she’s mad at me.

But I have lost all steam in the dinner-prep process after she started making herself a bean burrito. We can’t both cook in the kitchen at the same time anyway–the room is too small for that. So I left the room. I’m being ridiculously oversensitive and I can’t seem to stop it.

Cooking is a big part of the way I nurture my family. I work around the silly preferences (she’s off soy sauce; Big Brother doesn’t like corn) and the dietary needs (husband with gout, Little Brother with lactose intolerance). I make broccoli that they like instead of Brussels sprouts that I like. I enjoy cooking and making meals that my family likes. And then TheDad skips dinner every Spaghetti Night and Middle Sister (and now Little Brother) announces that tonight’s meal is not a favorite.

I cannot believe I’m sitting here losing it over the dinner plan.


4 thoughts on “Rejected

  1. Barb, both my daughters went through the "hey Mom I am going to be a vegetarian" phase. In each case it lasted about a week. I simply continued to make dinner as usual, mainly meals that included meat, they were welcome to the side dishes of potatoes and veg. By the end of the week they were looking longingly at a pork chop, or piece of meatloaf, and succumbed and that was the end of that 🙂

  2. I totally get it, Barb. Mucho sympathy coming your way. Each of my kids had one very common, easy, delicious supper that they would not eat. So with seven kids, there was many a night when someone was avoiding the main dish. Very disheartening when a big part of the way a mom gives her love is through cooking. That being said, we went meatless Monday thru Friday last year and we all survived. A friend of mine has blog with 40 days of meatless meals. Maybe your daughter would like to check it out and do some of the lenten cooking for you. but one caution: these recipes are for a family of 9 to 12, so you'll want to cut them down. The blog is called A Perpetual Jubilee.

  3. I'm going meatless this Lent, too — without the family following suit which I know will make things more complicated. But that said, dropping this Lenten practice on the cook with no warning would stretch my patience, that's for sure!!When I was growing up (6 kids, my mother a wonderful cook) my mother's rule was that you didn't have to eat what she put on the table, but you did have to come and sit, and once dinner was cleaned up you were free to make what you wanted from what was available in fridge and panty. My trick is to make ahead vegetarian options which can be reheated or finished that "match" what's on the menu (we all share dinner duty, I'm no longer the only cook). So cheese quesadillas when they are having tacos or fajitas. I have to do a bit of negotiating with the cook about work/stove space, but actually discovered I enjoy being in the kitchen and not being in charge!

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