Grudgingly

I’m holding a grudge.

OK, I’m holding many grudges. I’m good at multitasking that way, and my superpower is hanging onto a hurt/annoyance/outrage and blowing it out of proportion.

Holy Mountains-out-of-Molehills, Batman!

But even I knew that this one particular grudge was getting out of hand when I started to consider going out of my way to avoid something that the Grudge-Target and I both enjoy, because it reminds me of said Grudge-Target.

Can you say, “What, are we in middle school?”

Just for the sake of example, let’s say that the Thing We Enjoy is root beer. (Because it’s not. I can’t stand root beer. But it works in this story).

Root beer is widely and conveniently available. Therefore, reminders that root beer exists happen quite frequently. When I am reminded that root beer exists, I am reminded of the Grudge-Target and how this person likes root beer.

And here’s where my Inner Middle-Schooler is tempted to avoid choosing root beer, even though I like it, because the Grudge-Target likes it too.

I have a fear that if I bring this up in confession, Father will just laugh at me, because he has no idea what it’s like to be a middle-school girl.

At the moment, making peace with the Grudge-Target may not be possible. But I have decided that it’s ridiculous of me to stop drinking root beer just because it reminds me of someone with whom I have a conflict.

I need to do something else instead. I need to pray for the Grudge-Target. I need to pray for myself, too, that I will have the courage and strength and grace needed to make peace with this person.

So I have resolved that each time I have a root beer, I will pray. May God bless me with the grace to forgive, and may He bless the Grudge Target as well.

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2 thoughts on “Grudgingly

  1. I completely get this, but I am not as spiritually evolved as you and I probably would not drink root beer! My inner middle schooler is running wild. I love your way of thinking on this. 🙂

    Like

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