Things You Think About When You’re 15

“Mom, if you had access to a laser, wouldn’t you want to cut things up from time to time?”

Why Teenage Boys Don’t Get to Plan These Things

Big Brother is telling me all about the Haunted Hayride he went on with some friends last night.

“And then you got to go in the corn maze, only it wasn’t really a maze. It was only a path.” (this in a disappointed tone)

I reminded him that if it were a real maze, someone might get lost in there, in the dark.

“Right! That would be awesome!”

Caffeinated

I just got an email through my local Freecycle group. Someone is offering a 64-ounce coffee cup.

64 ounces. Impressive.

I told Big Brother about it, for a laugh. I told him it’s half a gallon of coffee and that I can’t imagine anyone drinking that much coffee.

He said, “You probably drink that much coffee in a day.”

“I do not! You have no idea what I’d be like if I drank that much coffee in a day.”

“You should try that,” he told me. “Just once. I’d laugh.”

Harry Potter and Cranky Teenagers

Big Brother was up early yesterday for cross-country practice, and was up late last night, waiting with his friends for his copy of the last Harry Potter novel.

He’s cranky today, as evidenced by the following:

BB: “It’s hot in here.”

Me: “It’s a beautiful day with a great breeze. It’s not hot at all!” (in fact, I’m wearing jeans, and he’s got shorts on, and we’re in the same room reading, and he’s the only uncomfortable one).

BB: “It’s hot.”

Me: “Perhaps if you took your shower you’d cool off a little.”

BB: “I’m reading a book.”

Me: “Does that mean you won’t be taking a shower until you finish Harry Potter?” (EWWWWW!)

At this point he tried to stun me with the Teenage Glare of Death, but fortunately my own Mother Glare–the “You’ve gone too far this time, buddy” look–triumphed.

Time for Camp


The caravan departed today for Boy Scout Camp. This is TheDad and Big Brother’s fifth year of summer camp together.

Good thing St. George is a powerful patron. I had to sign various scary forms absolving the camp from any responsibility if my son is injured (or worse) in the rapids where he’ll be canoeing and rafting, or in a cave, or on a mountain, or wherever else the “High Adventure” group will go. I’m sure Big Brother will have a great time. I, on the other hand, will be a nervous wreck.

TheDad says that this is why they don’t let moms come to camp. Dads don’t mind as much when the boys get muddy on the first day and stay muddy all week. They don’t mind the boys’ aversion to the camp showers (though they do insist that the boys make some attempt at getting clean before leaving camp). They don’t get too nervous when they see the kinds of dangerous stuff the boys will be doing (woodcarving, anyone? Building bonfires? Class 4 rapids?)

It’s going to be a hot week in Roanoke, VA. TheDad really feels the heat, and those tents aren’t air-conditioned. There’s no internet access either. He’s also giving up a week’s vacation from work, home-cooked meals, time with the rest of the family, and a comfortable place to sleep. And leaders don’t camp free–he PAYS to go on this trip. That’s what makes him a great dad.

So this week I will be “two men down.” I will be worrying about them while they’re in the heat and on the river. I’ll miss having them around, to talk to and to feed, since it’s much less fun to cook for 3 than for 5 (they’re my most appreciative eaters!) And on a totally shallow note, I’ll be missing my XM radio since I offered to let them have my van. It’s a long drive and this way the boys can watch movies.

Please keep them and all the Boy Scouts in your prayers. It’s a wonderful organization and it’s been great for Big Brother. Even the Pope supports it:

“For one century, through play, action, adventure, contact with nature, life as a team and in service to others, you offer an integral formation to anyone who joins the Scouts. Inspired by the Gospels, scouting is not only a place for authentic human growth, but also a place of strong Christian values and true moral and spiritual growth, as with any authentic way of holiness.

The sense of responsibility that permeates Scout education leads to a life of charity and the desire to serve one’s neighbor, in the image of Christ the servant, based on the grace offered by Christ, in a special way through the sacraments of the Eucharist and forgiveness.”

The Pontiff encouraged the brotherhood of the Scouts, “which is a part of its original ideal and makes up, above all for young generations — a witness of that which is the body of Christ, within which, according to the image of St. Paul, all are called to fulfill a mission wherever they are, to rejoice in another’s progress and to support their brothers in times of difficulty.”

“I thank the Lord for all the fruits that, throughout these last 100 years, the Scouts have offered,” he said. He encouraged Catholic Scouts to go forward on their path, offering “to boys and girls of today an education that forms them with a strong personality, based on Christ and willing to live for the high ideals of faith and human solidarity.”

Benedict XVI’s message ends with advice from Baden-Powell: “Be faithful to your Scout promise, even when you are no longer young, and may God help you to do so!”When man seeks to be faithful to his promises, the Lord himself strengthens his steps.”

St. George, patron of Boy Scouts; St. Joseph, patron of fathers; St. John Bosco, patron of boys, pray for them.

H/T to Micki for the image of St. George, patron of Boy Scouts, and to Father Jay Toborowsky for the text of the Pope’s message.

Back Away from the Camp Trunk….

Big Brother is packing his stuff for camp. I just stopped in there to hand him some towels when I saw him standing by the closet door, rolling his clean T-shirts into balls and tossing them into the trunk.

I can’t look.

He’s big enough to read the equipment list and find what he needs in the house. I’m just going to assume that he will bring everything he needs.

He also thinks it’s very funny that I can’t watch him pack, so he’s providing the play-by-play: “Hey Mom, one of my T-shirts wouldn’t fit in the pile with the rest of the T-shirts, so I put my foot in the trunk and stepped on the pile so it would fit.”

His friend is in the background yelling, “Big Brother! Stop walking in your luggage!”

I can’t look.

Semantics

Middle Sister mentioned at the dinner table that she would like to go bungee jumping.

Big Brother informed her that you probably have to be 18 to do that.

“Stop thinking negative,” she told him.

He answered, “There is a difference between negative and rational.”

How to Disappoint Your Teenage Son

I was standing on a chair in the kitchen rearranging things on the top shelf of a cabinet where I mainly keep baking supplies. Most of the contents of the other shelves were spread across the kitchen counter.

Big Brother wandered into the room and figured he was in for some kind of treat.

“Mom, what are you making?”

“ROOM!”

Innovation

Little Brother had a prodigiously messy face after eating a huge spaghetti dinner tonight.

Big Brother volunteered to clean him up.

Cleanup implements were not a simple washcloth and water. Oh no! He put swim goggles on Little Brother, took him outside, and started “hosing him down” with a Super Soaker.

An Actual Conversation

Me: “Big Brother, the boys said earlier that there’s a dead bird under the big tree.”

Big Brother: “Cool.”

Me: “Get a shovel.”

Big Brother: “Not now. I just ate. I’ll do it later.”

I’ll be sure to remind him again, right after dinner.