Tag: Church

Be the Reason They Stay

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Earlier this month, my friend Rita Buettner published an article about those small things we do — or don’t do — that cause people to leave a parish. She commented:

There are a thousand things we can do to help make our church a more welcoming one for others.

I’ve been on both ends of that situation. Maybe you have, too. We left a parish (looking back, maybe we didn’t give it enough of a chance) when we first moved to this area and then did a little church shopping before landing in our current parish; we eventually moved into the parish’s zip code and then, once it merged, we were officially living within its territory. In other words, we backed into our parish territory.

We didn’t feel welcome in that original parish. And right now, as I see new families filling our pews, people whose faces are quickly becoming familiar, I want to make sure I’m not the reason someone leaves.

I’m a daily Massgoer, and I often am a musician at two of the weekend Masses. At daily Mass, I serve as a lector a couple of times a week and substitute for the sacristan when she’s not available. And I’m a musician at funerals (my fifth funeral this month is tomorrow). I’m there a lot. So I see a lot — good and bad.

It is the whole community, the Body of Christ united with its Head, that celebrates (Catechism of the Catholic Church 1140, emphasis original).

Mass, in other words, is for praying and celebrating as a community. It’s not our private prayer time. There are other people around us, and sometimes they need something. If you were hosting a party and one of your guests needed help, you’d make sure they got that help. Mass is no different.

Rita mentioned parking attendants in her article, and while parking is a perennial problem, we’ve never had the luxury of attendants. We’re a little parish, but I’ve seen many people go out of their way to do little things for someone else that make a world of difference.

Be Aware of the Needs of Others Around You

  • Hold the door for someone using a cane, walker, or wheelchair.
  • Share the pew.
  • Point out the correct page in the hymnal or missal. Share yours if there aren’t enough to go around.
  • Open the cry room door for parents with full hands.

Welcome the Stranger (or the Friend You Haven’t Met)

  • Give a compliment.
  • Encourage the family with kids.
  • Say, “It’s good to see you” to someone.
  • Invite someone arriving alone to join you at the parish picnic or other event.

A Special Note to Parish Volunteers

If someone is interested in volunteering for your ministry, welcome them. Return their call or email. Make sure they have a task to do. Share materials; teach them what they need to know.

Gatekeeping ministries at church is a big reason people leave. (And you don’t get to do that and then complain that nobody helps you with your ministry.)

The Proof Is in the Pew

A couple of years ago I sang at a funeral. The procession from the funeral home to the church was delayed for almost an hour. We musicians wound up standing near the entrances and letting people know there would be a delay. Everyone was nice about it; it was a nice day, so some people went outside to talk with each other in the parking lot, and others stayed in the church to pray. One couple wound up having a long conversation with the other musician after they realized they had a mutual friend. For the past two years, that couple has showed up at Mass at our parish every single week. They sit right up front. Recently, they told us, “We were going to another parish, but not every week. You made us feel so welcome that we started coming here.”

Bottom line: It’s not that hard to be welcoming. And the payoff goes both ways.

Copyright 2025 Barb Szyszkiewicz
Photos copyright 2024, 2025 Barb Szyszkiewicz, all rights reserved.

"Last call" by Barb Szyszkiewicz (FranciscanMom.com)

Last Call

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For about ten years, there was a post-it note on my music stand:

“Call Rose.”

Every week when the folk group gathered to practice the music for the upcoming Sunday Mass, we’d put the phone on speaker and call one of our friends from church whose health did not permit her to go to Mass.

We all had our reasons for our fondness for Rose. A longtime lector, she sat in the front pew for Sunday Masses and would always expect us to wave during the Sign of Peace. She welcomed some of us to the parish, and she was a Secular Franciscan with me.

“I pray for you every day,” she would say. “Each and every one of you.”

We counted on that. We knew she prayed for us all, by name.

So when Rose couldn’t come to Mass anymore, and our deacon (who brought the Eucharist to her every Sunday) let us know how much she missed the music, we decided to let her eavesdrop on rehearsals.

Rose was always happy to hear from us, and it was good to hear her voice. After some songs, she’d say, “Is that all?” and we’d ask if she had time to listen to more. Over the years, it became more difficult for her to hold the phone up to listen to more than three songs, but we kept calling and she kept listening. We’re not sure which songs were Rose’s favorite, because if we asked whether she’d liked something, she always said she did.

The last time we called Rose was August 13. She thanked us, as she always did. “Thank you for calling and singing to me.”

And we replied, as we always did: “Thank you for listening to our music!”

When Rose said she had to go, we all signed off the way we always did: “We love you, Rose!”

She said, “I love all of you too.”

And that was the last time we heard her voice. The next Wednesday afternoon, I got a call from another Secular Franciscan, Rose’s very dear friend, letting me know that Rose had suffered a terrible stroke.

So instead of calling, we prayed.

Rose passed away a week ago, and we’re waiting to find out the date for the funeral. But her family gave us a beautiful gift. They asked us to play for the funeral, and requested that we choose the music.

I don’t know Rose’s favorites, but I went through the hymnal and sent the music director a list of 23 possibilities. We’ll only get to do 5 or 6 of them, so I’m glad I’m the one who won’t have to make the final choice.

And when we do play and sing at that funeral, we’ll be telling Rose we love her, one last time.

"Last call" by Barb Szyszkiewicz (FranciscanMom.com)

 

Copyright 2025 Barb Szyszkiewicz

Images: Canva

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“We made it to another one!”

franciscanmom1 Comment

Every parish has those dedicated souls who will stop at nothing to get to daily Mass.

They’re an inspiration to the rest of us. Referring to the 101-year-old gentleman who still drives himself to Mass, a fellow parishioner once said to me, “If he can make it to Mass, WE can make it here.”

She’s right.

Our 101-year-old friend has had some medical challenges lately and he hasn’t been at daily Mass for a few weeks, though he’s made it every Sunday. Today, though, he was there, in his regular pew, the first to stand and kneel when it’s time for that (yes — he still kneels).

Another elderly gentleman has also struggled lately with his health, and it’s always good to see him there too. He never fails to greet me with a big smile and a wave when I get to my pew.

In his homily today, Father mentioned the difficulties Catholics face in some parts of the world, such as Nicaragua and China, noting that we should always be grateful for our opportunity to freely attend Mass every day.

These two men clearly took it to heart. Leaning on their canes, they headed out the front door of the church after Mass, where they looked at each other, smiled, and said, “We made it to another one!”

It’s never guaranteed, after all, whether or not we’re 101 years old. But when we do make it there, we should be rejoicing.

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Copyright 2024 Barb Szyszkiewicz
Image copyright 2024 Barb Szyszkiewicz, all rights reserved.

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A Pair of Books that Show Catholicism’s Ins, Outs, and Influence

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While I’m not sure these books were intended to be a series, they go together amazingly well and, together, provide a refresher course on Catholic doctrine, traditions, and beliefs as well as a look at the ways Catholicism has shaped our lives without our even realizing it. They’re fascinating to pick up and browse through; while not as large as coffee-table books, these are excellent books to leave around for your kids, visitors, or yourself to explore.

Either or both of these books would make perfect gifts for Confirmation, for someone who has recently joined the Church or completed their sacraments, or for a man beginning formation for the permanent diaconate.

 

All Things Catholic: A Guide from A to Z

by Shawn McAfee
Sophia Institute Press

All Things Catholic is organized encyclopedia-style, with alphabetized entries for an extremely easy-to-use research experience. There’s also a table of contents that lists each entry (this might be overkill in a book already organized alphabetically, but it does let you see at a glance whether the term you’re looking up has an entry). If you have a question about the Church, this is a great place to get started.

Most entries are at least a half page in length, which is enough to easily satisfy most general queries. Some of them include a “Further reading” section listing more in-depth sources including books and papal encyclicals. Small illustrations, often photographs of sacred art, portraits of historical figures and saints, or simple line drawings, complement many of the entries in this book.

My favorite part of All Things Catholic is the occasional “Catholic Tip,” set off in a box from the rest of the text. These tips are usually written informally, offering real-life examples of some of the information included in this book. Some of the “Catholic Tips” provide explanations on how to pray the Rosary and the Divine Mercy Chaplet, as well.

 

 

Catholicism Everywhere: From Hail Mary Passes to Cappuccinos, How the Catholic Faith Is Infused in Culture

by Helen Hoffner
Sophia Institute Press

This book covers all the things you never knew were Catholic — as well as plenty of Catholic things you didn’t realize were so fascinating! I didn’t have to read more than 20 pages before I found a location mentioned that was very familiar to me: a shrine at a parish church in a town near where I grew up. A few pages later, I learned that the inventor of the first modern submarine (launched in the Passaic River, also near my hometown) had been a Christian Brother — the same religious order that founded and still ministers at the university all my children attended. I loved making these connections as I read Catholicism Everywhere.

Chapters in this book include:

  • The Catholic Calendar
  • Health Care
  • Catholics on the Road
  • Catholics at Sea
  • Traveling the Skies
  • Catholic Education
  • Catholic Fashion
  • Food, Fasting, and Faith
  • Television and Radio: Broadcasting the Faith
  • Science and Catholicism
  • Weather from a Catholic Perspective
  • God’s Creatures Great and Small
  • Catholicism in the Garden
  • Sports and Recreation: The Catholic Influence
  • Expressing Faith through the Arts
  • Catholic Weddings
  • Catholics in the Military
  • Catholic Organizations
  • The Catholic Roots of Common Expressions

Catholicism Everywhere is a lot of fun; it explores how Catholicism has influenced so many aspects of our lives without our even realizing it. Did you know about LeBron James’s Catholic-school legacy? How about the name of the patron saint of pierogi? You’ll learn about the priest who created the Big Bang Theory (not the TV show), and that we can still invoke the intercession of Saint Christopher before we head out on a journey.

A glossary and a brief Frequently Asked Questions section complete this book.

 

 

Ask for All Things Catholic and Catholicism Everywhere at your local Catholic bookseller, or order online from Amazon.com or the publisher, Sophia Institute Press.

Copyright 2024 Barb Szyszkiewicz
Image copyright 2024 Barb Szyszkiewicz, all rights reserved
This article contains Amazon affiliate links; your purchase through these links supports the work of this website at no cost to you.

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Focus on Lent: Spiritual Resources for the Journey

franciscanmom6 Comments

Lent is only one short week away. It’s time to prepare for the journey.

That doesn’t mean you need to weigh yourself down with every devotional ever published. I agree with Nicole Berlucchi, who recently wrote that we should just pick one book, devotional, program, or practice. For Lent this year, let’s do one thing and do it well. I’m still making my plan, and I thought I’d show you some of the resources I’ve been looking at.

There’s an App for That

Magnificat Lenten Companion App

This app is packed with features, including the daily readings and prayers for Mass, daily morning and evening prayer based on the Liturgy of the Hours, inspirational essays and poetry, Stations of the Cross, a Lenten penance service, audio hymns, and daily Lenten reflections by Catholic writers. Priced at only $2.99, it’s less expensive than the print version of Magnificat and contains more content.

This app is an excellent way to keep your Lenten devotions near at hand at all times. If you’re trying to limit your phone or tablet use during Lent, try modifying your home screen so you only see the Catholic apps like this one on the first page, and bury or remove apps that only tempt you to waste your time. (For iOS and Android; available in English and Spanish.)

 

For the Kids

Arthur the Clumsy Altar Server Plans the Perfect Lent by Theresa Kiser 

Moms, I’m warning you right now: you will cry when you read this one, so be ready. But it’s a good cry. This picture book is a terrific explanation of Lent, and how Jesus is with us every step of the way. In this story, Arthur (who thinks big) yearns to be perfect, like Jesus. And he keeps on disappointing himself every time he trips or drops something, or when his stomach growls during Mass. His parents and parish priest are understanding, and his mom beautifully explains that Arthur doesn’t need to do everything perfectly to earn Jesus’ love.

As with the other books in the Arthur series, the illustrations by Mike Schwalm make the story. At the end of the book, there are useful facts about Lent, explained in a kid-friendly way. This picture book is perfect for kids ages 4 and up; you might even find your older kids peeking at the illustrations as you read it to the younger ones. (OSV Kids)

 

Diary of a Future Saint: Faustina’s Incredible Journey by Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle

Whether your family has a devotion to the Divine Mercy Chaplet or you’re simply curious about the life of the twentieth-century woman whose Diary has inspired so many, this book by Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle will not disappoint. Throughout this story, the reader will learn not only about the life of this extraordinary saint, but also about various ways to pray, how we are called to trust in God, the sacraments, grace, and our need to always work to avoid the devil. The author invites readers to consider their own relationship with Christ as they learn about Saint Faustina.

Each chapter ends with three special features: “Something to think about” with questions for conversation, “Pray,” and “A merciful action.” This book is described as a novel for all ages, but I think it would be best appreciated by readers 10 years old and up. (Marian Press)

 

Guided Meditation with Videos

Made for Heaven: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation by Fr. Agustino Torres, CFR

The reflections in this journal are focused on poverty, beginning with the topics of temptation and transfiguration, then considering how our voluntary poverty can be life-giving to others, and finally immersing ourselves in prayer and the power of the Cross. Each day begins with an excerpt from Scripture. Fr. Agustino then offers a daily meditation and challenges the reader to journal in response to that meditation, identifying practical ways to live out the Lenten season more fully. This book includes ample space for journaling and note-taking, as well as beautiful illustrations by Valerie Delgado.

An accompanying video series includes a video for Ash Wednesday and each Sunday of Lent, concluding on Easter. Look for these here on CatholicMom.com at 10 AM Eastern. (Ave Maria Press)

 

The Ascension Lenten Companion: Walking with Jesus to Jerusalem by Mark Toups

This journal boasts a full page of journaling space for each day of Lent (plus ample white space on other pages in case you’d like to highlight or comment on the reflections). Each day’s entry begins with a focus word and Scripture verse, then offers a reflection (about one and a half pages in length) that leads into the journaling space. A daily prayer prompt is based on a Scripture reading.

This guided journal program with a complementary video series can be used by parishes, prayer groups, and individuals. All videos, available on AscensionPress.com, are about 5 minutes in length. The illustrations that begin each week’s section in this journal are paintings by Mike Moyers, done in a simple, modern style. (Ascension)

 

Fiction during Lent? Yes, please!

Through Esther’s Eyes: A Novel by Jacqueline St. Clare

Immerse yourself in the story of Jesus’ life and ministry as told by Esther, His fictional cousin. This novel is steeped in Scripture; the words of the prophets, psalms, Gospel events, and many of Jesus’ parables are skillfully interwoven throughout the story. The author links fictional characters with the Apostles, Martha and Mary and Lazarus, Mary Magdalene, and the Blessed Mother.

This masterful and compelling debut novel by a Catholic author is a must-read! It’s one of the best books I’ve read in a long time. You’ll feel as if you’re really there, witnessing the action. I know some people give up fiction as a Lenten sacrifice, but this novel should be an exception; reading it will really bring the events of the Gospel to life. (Marian Press)

 

The Way of the Cross

Behold Your Mother: Marian Stations of the Cross by Marge Steinhage Fenelon

Marge Steinhage Fenelon’s newly published interpretation of the Stations of the Cross looks at each Station from the point of view of a child seeking comfort from the Blessed Mother even while realizing that he is partially to blame for these terrible trials she and her Son endure and wishing to console Mary. This puts into words the conflict we, as God’s children entrusted to the care of the Mother of God, face as we consider the Passion of Jesus Christ.

Simply illustrated with striking pen-and-ink images to go along with the one-page devotion for each Station, this book is a beautiful prayer companion for use in personal or group devotions. (Our Sunday Visitor)

 

Quick Daily Devotionals

Turn to the Cross: Daily Prayers for Lent and Holy Week 2024 by Josh Noem

This little devotional is designed to be used throughout the day. Each day’s entry begins with a brief prayer or Scripture quote, then a quick reflection, a Prayer for Morning, Traveling Question, and Prayer for Evening. Reflection topics vary: these include discussion of one of the daily readings, the lives of saints, challenges to develop a particular virtue, and inspirational stories of contemporary priests and sisters of the Congregation of Holy Cross.

This devotional is well-suited for people who want a solid Lenten devotional but don’t have a large block of time to commit to using it. The small-format booklet can fit in your handbag or the map pocket of your car, so you can use it for small spiritual breaks in the course of your day. (Ave Maria Press)

 

Messages of Perseverance for Lent 2024: 3-Minute Devotions by Michael White and Tom Corcoran

Do you have three minutes? It doesn’t even matter what time of day you use this book. It’s designed to provide practical, everyday wisdom for persevering in your journey of faith. Each weekday, there’s a Scripture quote followed by a quick reflection and call to prayer, either thanking God or praying for the grace to persevere in certain situations.

The Saturday entry is a psalm, presented in the style of the Responsorial Psalm at Mass. And the Sunday entry sets the scene for the week and summarizes the Gospel from Sunday Mass. If you hope to develop the virtue of perseverance this Lent, try this little devotional. (Ave Maria Press)

 

Go Deeper

The Father’s House: Discovering Our Home in the Trinity by James Dominic Brent, OP

This spiritual book is not specifically Lent-themed, but what better topic to delve into during Lent than how to grow closer to the Lord in each Person of the Holy Trinity? As Kathryn Jean Lopez writes in her endorsement:

You are not meant to be separated from the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. You are meant to live in the heart of the Trinity, in merciful love and eternal victory. Don’t delay. Let the Trinity guide you to the fullness of the Christian life through the words of this humble and wise friar.

Read one chapter of this book for eight weeks, and you’ll conclude the week after Easter with the chapter focused on the mystery of our adoption by grace into the family of God. (Pauline Books & Media)

 

This Lent, Learn More About the Mass

Mass Class: Your Questions Answered by Father Dave Dwyer

This is a book the whole family can enjoy learning from together during Lent. There are seven sections of this book, so you can cover one each week of this season. Father Dave Dwyer, host of the Busted Halo radio show, answers listener questions about Mass: why Catholics go to Mass, what we believe about the Eucharist, the various prayers and Scripture used at Mass, posture and gestures, and more—all in a very clear, friendly, and accessible manner. Occasional graphics signal the “Top 5 Frequently Asked Questions,” as well as Mass Class Notes, sidebars that offer additional helpful facts.

If you’re curious (or your family is) about why we do what we do during Mass, this is the book for you. I’d recommend it particularly for anyone preparing for Confirmation. (Paulist Press)

 

Ask for these books at your local Catholic bookseller, or order online from Amazon.com or the publishers, all linked above.

 

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Copyright 2024 Barb Szyszkiewicz
Images: Stencil
This article contains Amazon affiliate links, which provide a small compensation to me when purchases are made through the links, at no cost to you. Thank you!

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My Tuesday Church

franciscanmom5 Comments

In September, my parish moved the daily Mass time to noon on weekdays.

I love this, because it allows me to work from 7:30 to 11:30 and then head to Mass before having lunch—if I get it together enough to start that early, and if I have no afternoon meetings.

On Tuesdays, though, I do have a meeting—at noon—so I can’t attend Mass at my own parish. So on Tuesdays, I take a field trip. I’ve tried one church that offers an 8 AM Mass, which works well with my schedule, but there were some other factors that made this not a good fit. (If going to daily Mass is a near occasion of sin, and it was, then some things need to be reconsidered.) So I visited another parish that’s not too far away and has a 9 AM Mass.

 

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I struggle, some weeks, with the idea that I’d rather be at my home parish, my parish home. A part of me feels disloyal for going somewhere else once a week, and for liking it there. But I think it’s OK to want to be at your own parish, because that means it’s important to you—I love my parish home. And it’s also OK to take field trips when you’re unable to attend Mass at your home parish. Better that than to skip! After all, Jesus is present in any Catholic church.

But my Tuesday church has been a real gift. It’s a diverse parish, with weekend Masses in three languages. At daily Mass, the pastor effortlessly switches among those languages as he distributes Communion, so each person receiving hears “The Body of Christ” in his or her own language. This is a beautiful sign of respect for each person’s culture. Father Jorge knows who speaks English, Spanish, or Portuguese, and greets them accordingly.

And on some days, like today, the homily is a real treat, because it’s like it was written just for me. I will remember, going forward, to focus on this:

It’s interesting that every day during Mass, right before we receive Communion, we all hear these words of Jesus Christ: “Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you.”

Father went on to discuss the many times peace is mentioned in the Gospels, and how the Blessed Mother has urged us to pray for peace. He encouraged everyone to read Pacem in Terris, the encyclical by St. John XXIII. And he asked us all to consider how we can be peacemakers and peacekeepers.

I got home from Mass this morning to learn that my noon meeting was canceled. But that’s OK. God gave me a beautiful gift at Mass at 9, at my Tuesday church.

 

 

(If you want to skip to the homily, it’s 20 minutes in. Highly recommended.)

Copyright 2023 Barb Szyszkiewicz

Photos copyright 2023 Barb Szyszkiewicz, all rights reserved.

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One-Verse Reminders

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Every morning I begin the day with Liturgy of the Hours and the daily Mass readings, along with the Daily Gospel Reflection from CatholicMom.com.

That means I’m reading parts of three psalms every single morning.
The Psalms have the power to derail my morning prayer—or, more accurately, switch it to a different track—like no other element of the readings and prayers for the day.
Usually that’s because, as a musician and sometimes cantor at my parish, I can’t help but hear the melody for those psalms from when I’ve sung them at Mass. (This is only a bad thing when the verses I’ve sung before are different from the verses I’m reading now.)
But Psalm 42:3 (from yesterday’s responsorial psalm) hits different.
Athirst is my soul for God, the living God.
When shall I go and behold the face of God?
I don’t hear a melody behind that one: I hear a voice.
There’s a woman in my parish who served faithfully for many years as a sacristan for daily Mass and a frequent lector. When I read that psalm, which comes up fairly frequently in the weekday readings, I hear Cathi proclaiming it. Her accent (there’s more than a hint of New York City) sounds like home to me, so that might be the reason her delivery of the first part of that verse made such an impression.
Athirst is my soul for God—the LIVING God.
That’s not a word I would have emphasized, but every time she did so, I’d lose track of the rest of the psalm while I mulled over how it’s important to remember that God IS a living God. Living, present, active, and loving. And our souls long to see Him. We were created for exactly that.
I suppose it’s OK to be derailed a bit if you’re actually thinking about the message of the readings, as opposed to your grocery list or how behind you are on the laundry or how you’ll solve this or that problem at work.
If you’re a lector, your natural inflection and emphasis can lead the reader to contemplate in a way you probably never expected. You are bringing the LIVING Word of God to your parish. And our souls long to hear it.
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Copyright 2022 Barb Szyszkiewicz
Images created in Stencil

“He Said the Name.”

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One recent weekday, the Mass intention was for the repose of the soul of a parishioner who passed away earlier this summer.

The daily Mass crew is pretty consistent (and had been, even before the pandemic), so it wasn’t exactly a surprise that the group of ladies sitting together in a pew that’s normally unoccupied were family members or friends of the deceased. I found that out because, after Mass, I couldn’t get out the door while they were standing around in the vestibule – probably looking for Father.

“Nice Mass,” one of them commented.

Another agreed. “He said the name.”

Maybe it’s not standard procedure to announce the names of those for whom Masses are offered. At our parish, it is done during the general intercessions.

At first, I didn’t see what the big deal was. I remembered back about 10 years when, during Lent and Advent, the pastor at the time required the choirs to chant the general intercessions, and people complained that they couldn’t hear their loved one’s name mentioned. (We tried. Really, we did. But it was extraordinarily difficult to chant those intentions and include the names. Fortunately that practice died in the water pretty quickly.) At the time, I thought it was shallow that people were making a big deal about the mention of a name.

But it is a big deal, to be prayed for by name. It’s a comfort. We want to be seen, and we want our loved ones to be seen – and that mention of a name in prayer is the Church’s way to express that someone has not been forgotten, that we do remember them and pray for them.

It is never shallow to want to have a loved one remembered in prayer. And it’s not shallow to need to hear that it’s happening.

Next time you’re at Mass, listen for the name. Pray for the deceased for whom that Mass is offered – that’s not just the priest’s job. And pray for the family that person left behind.

Pexels (2017)

Copyright 2020 Barb Szyszkiewicz
Image: Pexels (2017)

Beyond the Reach of Virtual Mass and Virtual Bulletins

franciscanmom4 Comments

In my part of the world, the churches have been open (at very limited capacity) for a little more than two weeks. And as in just about every other place, we’re wearing masks, the hymnals have been removed, there’s no holy water in the stoups, and “holy hand sanitizer” awaits you at the entrance where you check in with the ushers of a Sunday, for low-tech contact tracing.

And there are no bulletins.

Sure, you can read them online — and I do — but when a good number of parishioners are not comfortable with technology (if they even have access to a computer or smartphone at all), those parishioners are cut off from the life of the Church in yet another important way.

Yes. Bulletins are important. If the parish leaders think it’s important enough to create a bulletin (whether or not it’s offered in printed form, and during this pandemic, it’s digital only) then there needs to be a way to get them to the people who, I’d argue, miss them the most.

I wouldn’t even have thought of this, were it not for one of my friends, a fellow Secular Franciscan, who lives alone and does not have access to technology. While she is in good health, praise God, she is the ultimate people person and has definitely suffered during this time of isolation. I haven’t seen her at Mass yet because I have been singing at a different time than normal, but our first Sunday back she saw our music director after Mass and mentioned that she really missed reading the bulletin.

The music director immediately reached out to me after that conversation to see if I had a mailing address for this friend and ask if I’d take care of sending her a bulletin. Since I have a computer and a printer and envelopes and stamps, how could I say no? So I’ve been printing the bulletin and mailing it out on Monday morning, with a little note to say hello.

Yesterday my friend showed up at my front door with a little gift and a thank-you note. It has meant a lot to her to receive those bulletins in the mail. It’s no big deal for me to do this, but it’s a big deal for her to get them. She thanked me several times — for the love. And that’s what it really is, just a small gift of love.

(Boy, that was a tough visit. I could see her holding herself back. She just wanted to give me a hug. Her arms would start to move toward me, and then she’d catch herself. As I said, she’s the ultimate people person and an incurable hugger. It was heartbreaking.)

Here’s my challenge to you: Can you bless someone who’s not a digital native? Can you print a bulletin for someone in your parish who has no access to technology, but would love to read the parish news? If you don’t know someone, ask at the parish office if there is a homebound parishioner who would like to receive a bulletin with a note and a promise of prayer. Who knows: you may foster a friendship that lasts longer than the painter’s tape marking social distance in the church pews.

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Copyright 2020 Barb Szyszkiewicz. All rights reserved.

 

Copyright 2020 Barb Szyszkiewicz

Making sense of the church crisis

franciscanmom2 Comments

I don’t want to read about it.

But I know I have to. (And not just because I work in Catholic media.)

Even before the Pennsylvania grand jury report was released, the sex-abuse scandal in the Church was back on my radar screen. That’s because Cardinal McCarrick served in two New Jersey diocese. He presided at my husband’s Confirmation.

Before the grand jury report was released, my pastor dedicated his bulletin column to this difficult topic. He shared his disgust and how the first sex-abuse scandal had affected his priesthood. He called for our parish to participate in a 54-day Rosary novena, beginning August 15.

I’ve been reading about it, and trying to pray, and trying to figure out what it will mean for a Church that’s largely empty already — largely due to the first round of scandals in 2002.

Since 2006 I have been VIRTUS-certified so that I could volunteer and substitute-teach in a Catholic school. I have had to attend the class (which, having also been through the Boy Scouts’ Youth Protection Training, was less informative than the class the BSA offered). I’ve had to go to the really sketchy places in semi-abandoned industrial parks every 3 years to get my fingerprints done. (How sketchy, you ask? How about so creepy-people-in-the-elevator-sketchy, you think it’ll be safer to take the stairs on the way out — because at least you can run if you’re on the stairs? Yeah, that sketchy.) And to be honest, I haven’t had the best attitude about all of that, because I feel like I was being treated like a criminal because some other people were criminals.

I tried to turn that attitude around by praying for the victims and, yes, even for the criminals (they need prayers too) but I still feel that the rest of us were punished for the actions of a few.

But if that’s as much as this has touched me, I know I’m one of the lucky ones. I cannot imagine the torment the victims and their families have experienced.

I feel like something is broken in the Church and it’s not something I have the power to fix.

I’m very unsatisfied by the statement of the New Jersey bishops, as well as the bishop of my own diocese. I don’t think I’m alone in feeling that we need more than platitudes and talk of best.

We need shepherds, not CEOs.

Especially right now.

On Thursday, when I went to Adoration and took my rosary out of the little pouch, it was broken. That nearly undid me. Maybe I was reading too much into it, but that broken rosary (which was all in one piece the week before when I’d prayed it at Adoration) was a symbol, for me, of the brokenness we are experiencing now. So I sat there using my fingernails to try to repair the links, since I don’t generally bring pliers to the Adoration Chapel. I had to make it whole before I could begin to pray.

I will not stop going to Mass. I think we need to pray harder than ever right now. We need all the grace we can get. The criminals are not the Church. The bishops are not the Church. The Pope is not the Church. They are all part of it, but they are not all of it, and there is too much that is good in it to toss out the whole thing because of the bad stuff.

Helpful Resources

(to be updated)

The National Catholic Register ran an interview with seminary professor Janet Smith this week. It’s worth the read, especially if you are wondering what you, one lay person in a broken Church, can do right now.

What can the laity do right now?

We should certainly pray and fast and try to keep our faith strong and that of others.

We also need to help other Catholics see how seriously bad the presence of homosexual networks in the Church is. We should write letters to our bishop. We should 1) commend our bishop for the good works he has done 2) demand a clean-up of whatever homosexual network exists in the diocese. Carefully give evidence if we have some prefaced by “I have heard; I don’t know if it is true but I have heard it enough to think queries if not an investigation should be made.” Demand that if there are credible accusations against priests and more evidence is needed, that private investigators need to be hired 3) tell him that if cleaning up the homosexual network means that there will be such a priest shortage that parishes will close and services will be curtailed, say that we will stand by him and support his actions 4) that a lay board be set up to which priests and others can make charges of sexual harassment by the bishop himself and priests and the particularly priests can report any mistreatment from the bishop without fear of reprisals; 5) send the bishop copies of the best articles published expressing lay outrage; 6) promise to pray and fast for him 7) send copies of your letter to DiNardo and the nuncio; 8) get signatures of others who may not be inclined to write; 9) ask for a reply. Be polite but firm. And write again every month until something is done. If we don’t get a satisfactory reply, we need to consider writing to the public newspaper.

Father Willy Raymond, C.S.C., President of Holy Cross Family Ministries (and one of my employers) offered a short prayer for the innocent victims.

Copyright 2018 Barb Szyszkiewicz, OFS