I’m Hitting the Wall Right Now, God

Yesterday at our Secular Franciscans meeting we had a guest speaker: a Sister who works at a local retreat house. She gave a presentation about practical ways to pray constantly.

francis house of prayerHere’s one of the recommendations she gave us:

  • What is the one sentence I’d like to say to God right now?

I just used that technique, and I have to say, there’s comfort in it.

I’m in the middle of some red tape on the medical-provider end of Little Brother’s diabetes care, and the idea of the confrontation I’ll probably have to have in order to untangle this mess has ratcheted my anxiety level into the stratosphere. Suddenly I just stopped what I was doing while waiting for the phone call I’m dreading and said, out loud,

“I’m hitting the wall right now, God.”

(Fortunately no one else is home right now.)

It helped a little, though, just to get that out there. I can kind of feel my jaw unclenching and my fists opening up–just a bit.

And then, the tears. Not tears of despair, but instead that almost-relief when you know in your heart that God’s got this.

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