I’m Hitting the Wall Right Now, God

Yesterday at our Secular Franciscans meeting we had a guest speaker: a Sister who works at a local retreat house. She gave a presentation about practical ways to pray constantly.

francis house of prayerHere’s one of the recommendations she gave us:

  • What is the one sentence I’d like to say to God right now?

I just used that technique, and I have to say, there’s comfort in it.

I’m in the middle of some red tape on the medical-provider end of Little Brother’s diabetes care, and the idea of the confrontation I’ll probably have to have in order to untangle this mess has ratcheted my anxiety level into the stratosphere. Suddenly I just stopped what I was doing while waiting for the phone call I’m dreading and said, out loud,

“I’m hitting the wall right now, God.”

(Fortunately no one else is home right now.)

It helped a little, though, just to get that out there. I can kind of feel my jaw unclenching and my fists opening up–just a bit.

And then, the tears. Not tears of despair, but instead that almost-relief when you know in your heart that God’s got this.

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6 thoughts on “I’m Hitting the Wall Right Now, God

  1. Prayers that everything works out for you. I kind of did the same thing today, although I asked God if everything was going to be OK. Luckily my little ones didn’t think I was too crazy. 😉 God bless.

  2. I’m praying for you! I hope everything works out.

    It really does help to just talk to Him, doesn’t it? I feel bad that I don’t get down on my knees often enough and pray “real” prayers. But I do find myself speaking–sometimes out loud–to Him a lot as I go about my daily business.

  3. Thank you both. Things have started to untangle.
    Laura, I think that this is just as much “real prayer” as the Rosary or Liturgy of the Hours. Each is different. Each has its place. They’re all real, and they’re all important.

  4. So true…sometimes it helps to vent and tell God exactly what you’re feeling. After all, He already knows it, so it’s not like you’re going to surprise Him! Getting it out there and simply talking to Him like you would to a friend is such a special kind of prayer. In my women’s group at church, we’ve been discussing prayer, and one of the steps of moving forward in one’s prayer life is learning to talk to God. It’s sort of a step forward from only doing formulated prayers…not that I explain it half as well as my book does! Regardless, know that lots of us random internet strangers are sending prayers your way and learning right along with you 🙂

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