Things Parents Say (when they live in my house): a retrospective

  • Who left their gum at the Nativity scene?
  • If you go around hitting people with your T-shirt, don’t complain when it gets ripped.
  • Pouring your glass of milk down the toilet does not constitute Drinking The Milk!
  • You may not hang your robe from your ceiling!
  • Little Brother, don’t walk on chairs that have place mats on them!
  • Do not dribble the basketball on your sister’s head.
  • You may not do damage to anyone else’s eyebrows.
  • You may not use silverware to clean your sneakers.
  • Don’t braid your earrings.
  • Stop tickling your brother’s soda cup!
  • Candy corn is NOT a vegetable!
  • HEY! Get this hockey stick off the organ!
  • Paper dolls and Koosh balls don’t mix.

Brought to you by the mom with the Paratrooper in the Candlesticks and the Army Guy guarding the bathroom sink.

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