On Barb’s Bookshelf: “Mary’s Way” by Judy Klein

Mary’s Way: The Power of Entrusting Your Child to God is both a testament to perseverance and a guide to surrender. Judy Klein shares her own heartbreaks as a mother, tracing her journey as a parent and a Catholic. But this book is more than a memoir: it’s a call to a very specific kind of prayer by mothers for their own children.

Judy Klein is careful not to make empty prosperity-gospel-style promises about what will happen if you pray for your child. While acknowledging that miracles can happen, Klein notes that when our prayers of petition seemingly go unanswered,

…God invites us to learn the power of prayerful surrender. It’s a prayer that can bring real peace, and it often brings us to deeper conversion and inner transformation. It sometimes takes many hard lessons and countless wrestling matches with God to learn to surrender, and it’s something we must practice as we go. But surrendering prayer is worth leaning into and learning well because, in the end, learning to yield to God and say yes to him in whatever life brings changes us. (p. 3)

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The beauty of Mary’s Way is that, more than anything else, it’s about the heart of the mother as she learns to give up control. We all want to control how things will turn out for our children, and despite tiger-mom and helicopter-mom strategies, we can’t guarantee optimal results by our own prayer, word or action. Instead, Klein urges readers to follow Mary’s example of faith.

Mary’s most exquisite blessing was not that she was given a “pass” on suffering but that she was permitted to participate in the Cross in a most profound and intimate manner. She found the greatest blessing precisely by uniting her deepest agony–watching her son die upon the Cross–to her Son’s own sacrificial offering, cooperating freely with salvific grace in bringing about the redemption of souls. We are invited to do the same whenever the Cross presents itself in our lives, turning our pain into a source of sanctification for ourselves and for others. (p. 8)

Judy Klein guides mothers toward surrender by sharing her own story, offering questions to ponder, and including prayers at the end of each chapter that speak to the heart of what mothers face as they learn to follow Mary’s example.

In this book, readers will learn of the beauty of endurance, how embracing the Cross can grace us with strength we cannot imagine, and how true friends support each other through trials.

You do not need to be a parent in the throes of suffering to benefit from this book. But if you are, or know someone who is, this book will be balm for the suffering soul.

Mary’s Way is a CatholicMom.com book published by Ave Maria Press.

Buy this book through my Amazon link and support FranciscanMom.com with your purchase! I was provided a review copy of this book by the publisher through Netgalley.com, but no other compensation, for the purposes of this review. Opinions expressed are my own.

Barb's Book shelf blog title

Copyright 2016 Barb Szyszkiewicz, OFS

My favorite "pocket Rosary." Durable. Washable. And with a Franciscan touch!

Small Success: A Dental Breakdown

Thursdays at CatholicMom.com begin with a look at the past week’s Small Successes!

In a nutshell, this week’s success is surviving yesterday’s Dental Visit from Hell.

I noticed at the beginning of June that the crown that was replaced in the summer of 2012 was beginning to come loose. I did not wait. I called for an appointment right away. They wouldn’t deal with my crown when I went in the day before graduation, saying I had to see the hygienist first and maybe it would fall out during cleaning, which would be better than having them force it out. I waited 2 more weeks for that appointment, only to be told to hang in there until it fell out on its own. They did make an appointment for me for August 24, however.

At that point in June I was 4 weeks away from a professional conference, where the last thing you want is to look like a hockey player for photo opportunities with your boss. The office staff at the dentist’s office was unswayed. Fortunately, the tooth stayed put. Wiggly, but still in my mouth.

Authors of the CatholicMom's Prayer Companion at the Catholic Writers Guild, July 2016. @franciscanmom
Authors of the CatholicMom’s Prayer Companion at the Catholic Writers Guild, July 2016

I have been babying that stupid tooth all summer long. No corn on the cob for me this year. I would worry that it would fall out during the night and I’d swallow it. Finally, last Wednesday night, I sneezed, and that was it for the tooth. (“No, it didn’t shoot across the room,” I had to tell my kids, who were gleefully imagining that dramatic scenario. It would have at least made for a better story.)

The dentist’s office couldn’t or wouldn’t find a way to move my appointment up.

So yesterday I went in there, having looked like a hockey player (it’s a canine tooth) all week, with my tooth in a sandwich bag.

Then the torture began.

My favorite "pocket Rosary." Durable. Washable. And with a Franciscan touch!

 

I had my rosary in my pocket. I didn’t take it out, but my hand was right there by my pocket and I just counted off the Hail Marys. 7 decades’ worth. After that, I lost track. I couldn’t even concentrate on the words of the prayers. They worked on me for quite a while before deciding that Novocaine might be a good idea.

I was just sitting there with my eyes closed to keep out the giant light that was right in my face. Enduring. Opening my mouth and biting down, on command.

And then, while my eyes were shut, I was asked to “open” and in went an impression tray thick with goo. There was no warning. (I’m practically having a post-traumatic panic attack just typing this.)

I was still shaking, hours later. It took 3 Advil after I got home to dull the pain. I felt like I had to keep my hand over my mouth for over an hour, because it hurt so much, and for some reason my brain told me I needed to do that. And for what? A temporary crown for the next 15 days–so still, no corn on the cob. Nothing that requires me to bite. If I eat pizza, it’ll be with a knife and fork.

Some offering-up happened, and I hope that helped the people for whom I was suffering.

I’m still kind of sore, so if you can use a little suffering on your behalf, say the word. I’ll share a prayer and maybe hope that this pain can mean something to someone.

And when this is all over, when the new crown is in and the 2 cavities are filled, when TheKid’s molars have been sealed and I’ve paid the bills that were not in the budget, I’ll be going on the hunt for a new dentist. I’ve broken up with dentists over less than this.

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Trying out the bullet journal: Never say never @franciscanmom

Never Say Never: My Bullet Journal

The Bullet Journal is THE THING in the planning & productivity world these days.

“It’s a fad,” I said. “A bullet journal is not going to work for me.”

And then last week I went on vacation. I didn’t take my computer and I didn’t take my planner.

So I started a bullet journal in the small notebook I’d brought with me, in case I needed to write anything down.

It just seemed to make sense. And that whole index-at-the-beginning thing? A lifesaver!

My Michele Quigley Catholic planner. @franciscanmom

I’m a confirmed fan of the paper planner, and a loyal customer of Michele Quigley, whose planners I love because they are beautiful, well-made in a family business, functional and contain all kinds of useful Catholic data like the daily readings, saint of the day, quotes from saints, papal prayer intentions and more.

My Michele Quigley Catholic planner. @franciscanmom

I purchased the notebook addition for the back of the planner and use that as my “bullet journal” for work. I also have a section there for organizing book reviews, because I don’t want those to fall through the cracks (that’s not the way to stay on the good side of authors and publishers!)

I wasn’t using a bullet journal for anything else, but did have a brain-dump notebook that I used on and off through the winter and spring. That sort of fell off when summer came along.

Since I double-dog-dared Deanna Bartalini to try (and report on) using the bullet journal and have actually begun using one myself, I figure that the least I can do is play along and link up at her CatholicMom.com post.

Like Deanna, I’m not out to create a work of art here. I might use a ruler to make a vertical line–that’s it (my notebook is ruled, not graph paper). And look: I don’t even use the same color pen for everything. It’s random–and that’s OK.

My bullet journal @franciscanmom

Unlike Deanna, I’m not using this as my planner. It’s a notebook with indexed pages for whatever I need to write down at a particular time. During my vacation, I used it to track:

  • micro-reviews of books I read on the trip (7 total) for input into Goodreads after my return
  • some brainstorming for the regular feature I’ll be writing for Today’s Catholic Teacher
  • a list of dinner ideas
  • items to discuss with TheKid’s guidance counselor regarding what his classroom teachers will need to know about diabetes
  • “random airport sightings” — things that popped into my head while we sat in the San Juan airport for 6 hours. (Times like that, I wish I were a fiction writer. There was lots of story fodder going on, and I don’t mean that in an uncharitable way. Airports are fascinating places for people-watching.)

Once I let go of the idea that it had to LOOK good, I found that the bullet journal really can work for me!

Have you tried using a bullet journal? Join the linkup at CatholicMom.com and share what works (and doesn’t work) for you!

Trying out the bullet journal: Never say never @franciscanmom

Small Success: Sleep-Deprived Edition

Thursdays at CatholicMom.com begin with a look at the past week’s Small Successes!

I’ll say one thing right up front: it’s going to be a BIG success today if I manage to stay awake during my Adoration hour at noon. I’ve been up since about 3:30 AM, on diabetes duty. (Thank you, soccer tryouts that run from 5 to 7:30 and mess with blood sugars hours later. Hubs had 2 sleepless nights in a row, so last night was my turn. TheKid was in the safe zone by 4:15, but by then I was good and awake.) Sitting in a quiet place for an hour is going to be dangerous. I hope my guardian angel can keep me from snoozing in the chapel!

There’s been a lot of post-vacation catching up going on at work and at home. All the suitcases except one (containing miscellaneous snorkel gear, rain jackets and souvenirs) have been unpacked. I’m slowly getting my pile of books to review in order, and the clean laundry (8 loads on Monday!) is working its way back toward the drawers and closets.

I didn’t lose any weight on vacation, despite the fact that I basically doubled my daily walking mileage. But I didn’t gain any weight on vacation either, so that’s a victory right there.

Yesterday I took TheKid for his uniforms for high school. Because I hoarded saved hand-me-downs from the Big Kids, he’s all set for dress shirts (those things will never die!), golf shirts and sweaters. All I had to buy was pants and shorts, which were still way too expensive. He’d better not outgrow these anytime soon. Gym uniforms have to be purchased at school, so that’ll be tomorrow’s fun.

Today's Catholic Teacher fall 2016 cover
Today’s Catholic Teacher fall 2016 cover

The Fall 2016 issue of Today’s Catholic Teacher is out, containing my first-ever magazine article! For future issues, I’m working on the Bulletin Board feature, and I have another full-length article coming in the summer 2017 issue. I’m excited about that!

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Small Success: The View from My Office(s)

Thursdays at CatholicMom.com begin with a look at the past week’s Small Successes!

My Fitness Streak is still going. Even on the day when I dared not leave the house because just as my alarm went off, TheKid’s continuous glucose monitor also alarmed with a low blood sugar reading, I got in a short workout on my Gazelle machine in the laundry room. (Hubs gets the overnights. Once I’m up in the morning, I’m on duty.)

Yesterday’s morning sky, even though cloudy, was stunning as I headed off for my walk.

Incline My Heart

In other news, it’s summer and I need to roll with that. TheKid is at theatre camp, so I’ve been praying at other churches and working at Dunkin’ Donuts and the library on some days, because they both have free WiFi and it beats driving 20 minutes each way to go back home and work from there. Still, I feel a bit at odds with the schedule changes.

My Dunkin' office. Hot coffee and a big table where I can spread out.
My Dunkin’ office. Hot coffee and a big table where I can spread out.

 

The library has some comfortable chairs, but no coffee (though I saw a kid walk in with a milkshake the other day.)
The library has some comfortable chairs, but no coffee (though I saw a kid walk in with a milkshake the other day.)

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Small Success: Fitness Streak

Thursdays at CatholicMom.com begin with a look at the past week’s Small Successes!

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If you’ve hung around this blog long enough, you’ll remember that I spent several weeks in a boot last winter, trying to heal from tendinitis in my foot. Actually, I have it in both feet, but one was worse than the other.

I got out of the boot in January and was cleared to just do neighborhood walking soon afterward.

And, to be honest, I was afraid. I walked around the corner to the strip mall once or twice, but wouldn’t go farther than that, because I didn’t want to be too far from home if my foot began to hurt. I didn’t want to damage it even more–I’d been told by the doctor that foot surgery would be in my future at that point.

A few weeks ago I worked up the guts to walk around my block (0.9 miles)–and wound up with shin splints for my trouble. It’s enough of a slope, I guess, for that to be a factor, though nothing compared to the hills in the area where I grew up, which I used to walk around on all the time.

When it comes to exercise, I’m basically lazy. I don’t want to do it and will find easy excuses not to. The combination of laziness and fear was paralyzing.

And as spring came around, so many of my friends began sharing photos of their runs. I rejoiced with them at their progress–with more than a twinge of jealousy. No, I don’t run–and I never will again. I’m not allowed to run. I’m also not allowed on a treadmill, which is the one thing I enjoyed doing at the gym.

This week, though, I made myself get out there. I’ve done some exercise each morning for the past 7 days. 5 of those days were neighborhood walks, after I cleared it with my back-door neighbor that I could cut through her backyard to get to a flatter area for a walk. Twice, I went to the gym and rode the bike, which is the exercise my doctor recommended for me, but which I hate.

pickup notes

Today, I brought my Kindle to the gym and propped it up on the little shelf where the display screen is, and changed the font to a larger size. Instead of watching how many miles I’d pedaled, I read a novel. 25 minutes on the bike sped by. I’ll do that again. Anything to get guilt-free reading time! I can stomach the bike when there’s a good story to keep me distracted.

A few highlights from my week in fitness.
A few highlights from my week in fitness.

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Monday Recap: July 4, 2016

It’s the first Monday of the month, so I’ve gathered up links to the work I’ve done in other spaces.

At CatholicMom.com

sunflowers in a hurricaneBook Notes: Sunflowers in a Hurricane. My review of a new novel by Catholic author Anne Faye. Terrific characters in this one; it’s a great summer read.

 

 

QOW Summer ice creamQuestion of the Week: Ice Cream Edition. Just for fun–what’s your favorite ice-cream flavor?

 

 

find a real friend in JesusBook Notes: Find a Real Friend in Jesus. Gary Zimak’s new book, Find a Real Friend in Jesus, is full of friendly, personal advice from someone who is so invested in his faith that he can’t help but share it with others.

 

QOW-for-FI-351x185Question of the Week: Summer Reading. Our question of the week: How do you handle summer-reading assignments with your school-age children?

creed by scott hahnBook Notes: The Creed by Scott Hahn. Scott Hahn’s new book, The Creed, invites readers to consider the importance of affirming their beliefs, and why we still need to do so today.

 

 

QOW-for-FI-351x185Question of the Week: Summer Activities for the Kids. Our Question of the Week: do your children participate in summer activities, such as sports, camps, or VBS?

Full Cycle coverBook Notes: A Novel for Fathers and Sons. This Father’s Day, consider giving a father-son gift: a novel that fathers and sons can enjoy together. Full Cycle by Christopher Blunt is just such a book.

 

mahi burgers (3) c T smallMeatless Friday: Mahi Burgers with Grilled Pineapple. For your Meatless Friday meal, I introduce a healthy and delicious burger alternative: mahi burgers with grilled pineapple.

Mercy OTEM IGWhat My Daughter Has Taught Me about Mercy #OTEM. I examine the lessons I can learn from my impulsive daughter, who never hesitates to take action when others are in need.

 

At Cook and Count

Pineapple-salsa CPineapple Salsa: a picnic-worthy side that goes with just about anything you’ll be grilling up this summer!

 

 

fuego box 1 FBA Spicy Father’s Day Gift for Foodie Dads: my review of a deliciously spicy combination of ingredients from Fuego Box.

Monday recap 2016 edition

Small Success: Savoring the Morning

Thursdays at CatholicMom.com begin with a look at the past week’s Small Successes!

This weekend we had a party for TheKid, who graduated 8th grade earlier this month. I cooked for 50 guests: sausage and peppers, homemade meatballs and sauce, penne alla vodka, baked beans, salad, vegetable tray and macaroni salad. Thanks to four spreadsheets, years of experience cooking for family parties and a marathon of “Good Bones” on HGTV on demand, all the food was done ahead of time and I was able to relax and enjoy our guests.

Early Sunday morning, I relaxed on the back porch with a cup of coffee and a novel I didn’t have to review.

The table on the porch was still piled high with (clean) serving bowls and utensils waiting to be put away. The cooler was still full of soda, juice boxes and ice. A box of potato chips sat on a nearby chair.

The morning was sunny, breezy and cool. The coffee was hot and the novel compelling. My Small Success was taking the time to savor it all.

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Small Success: Summer of Life Skills

Thursdays at CatholicMom.com begin with a look at the past week’s Small Successes!

As of this morning, I’m happy to announce that my weight has finally dropped below a certain number that I hope never to see on the scale again. (Now to keep it that way!)

And in the Department of So Far, So Good, my Evil Plan™ seems to be working.

I’ve been holding TheKid’s internet access hostage until he has completed his chores, including Duties As Assigned, and read for 30 minutes.

He’s not getting just any old chores, either. In addition to the things he does every week, like dragging the trash cans to the curb and vacuuming his room and the family room, I’m giving him the kind of chores that I could complete in no time at all, but which he needs to learn to do on his road to becoming a self-sufficient young man. He’s also being assigned cleanup chores when he’s the one responsible for the mess.

So yesterday he had to Drano the bathroom sink to unclog the drain (I suspect the hair putty he uses, and he’s the only one who does his hair in that bathroom). This included remembering to come back in 30 minutes and run water for a minute to finish clearing the drain. It’s a life skill–and a consequence.

He also learned, yesterday, what happens when you vacuum before making sure the floor is clear of wires for electronics. Fortunately I was nearby to remind him to unplug both the electronic item and the vacuum before trying to disentangle the partially-vacuumed wire.

“This is hard work,” he commented. Well, yes. Yes, it is. And maybe he’s learned, without my needing to tell him, that it’s a good idea to patrol the area a bit before running the vacuum.

Today my resident microwave-popcorn-eater will learn how to clean that appliance inside and out. He’ll discover just how much gunk spews out of those popcorn bags as they spin around for two minutes.

One of my summer goals is to begin teaching him to cook simple meals, but I’ve put that on hold until my extra editorial job is complete.

Slowly but surely, he’ll get a handle on how to do some small but necessary household chores.

If only he’d start noticing that the trash can is full and empty it without being asked. A mom can dream…

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Small Success: Double Time

Thursdays at CatholicMom.com begin with a look at the past week’s Small Successes!

Yesterday I was messaging with a coworker on Slack, and I said this:

Yeah, I have an article to write, deadline ASAP, so I’m cleaning the freezer…

That’s pretty much how things are going around here.

My freezer is very clean after yesterday’s defrosting binge. And I don’t have to buy any more meat for the next 2 months, except for what I’ll need for TheKid’s graduation party next Saturday.

(I’m cooking! Want to come over and help us eat all the food?)

That defrosting binge was definitely stress organizing. I’m doubling up on work this month; in addition to my regular job at CatholicMom.com, I’m doing editorial support for Today’s Catholic Teacher during the month of June.

THAT was a total fluke. I answered a call for articles on Twitter and wound up building a spreadsheet of articles, authors and word counts. I’m writing an article too, but there’s not really a learning curve as far as that goes.

So as I juggle my regular part-time job and learn a new (temporary) one, I found something I could totally control–my freezer. It’s full, but it’s organized and I have a LIST of what’s in it.

As for the rest of it, I’ll muddle through. I’m learning a lot, and working with some amazing (and patient) people. Once I finally find my groove, though, the job will end. That’s the nature of temp work. I should be used to it, after all the substitute-teaching I’ve done.

But in the back of my head, I’ve got one more list: things I can spend an hour organizing when I need to clear my head and take complete control of something.

I hope nothing happened on Twitter yesterday. There was no time to tweet (and that’s not simply a leisure activity for me. It’s networking.) I was doing work for 2 jobs, outlining an article, making a batch of cold-brew coffee, washing 5 loads of laundry, defrosting and organizing the freezer, making chicken stock and then dinner, attending folk group practice that ran late, then freezing 21 cups of chicken stock and doing all the dinner dishes that the people who ate dinner late left for me. (We’re going to have to have a talk about THAT.)

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